Saturday, 9 February 2013

Ten Things You Never Knew About...

...This Blog
  1. Originally titled "Look at My Arse" this was a blog purely devised for cheap thrills and quick hits. Once Luka discovered how tough the competition was in terms of arse attractiveness she rapidly rethought the entire project. Renaming her blog Barbed Wire Boudoir Luka decided to concentrate on writing bad poetry, showing off her cleavage and doing her best to annoy those bloggers with really nice arses.
  2. Barbed Wire Boudoir has won more awards than any other satirical sex blog.
  3. Luka would have preferred the equivalent in cash for absolutely every award she has received. (Two).
  4. All posts on Barbed Wire Boudoir originate from observations duly noted down in a Moleskine Notebook. In crayon.
  5. Luka receives more emails from people who are ignoring her than from any other source. 
  6. Luka has been approached many times by producers who are keen to adapt the Boudoir for film, TV or the stage but budgetary constraints have stalled these projects so far. No one can afford the special effects, extravagent costumes or pies that Luka insists are intergral to her work.
  7. Barbed Wire Boudoir was once mentioned in the Icelandic soap opera Sudser in an exciting episode where Erik pretends to forget Jorvik's birthday but surprises him later with a candlelit dinner and a novelty cucumber.
  8. At least three couples met through the comments box at Barbed Wire Boudoir, leading to one wedding, one acrimonius breakup and one fist fight behind the skip outside Darlington's Premier Inn.
  9. No animals were harmed in the making of this blog. Apart from a couple of spiders and a fish.
  10. Every time you think the Boudoir has closed its doors for good and Luka has finally fucked off it lurches back like an extra from the Walking Dead.

8 comments:

Ceeej said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ceeej said...

We've been waiting for your return, some of us have turned blue...

Does this herald a bounteous return to the world of blogging and twitter or will we have to continue pining for your presence?

Carnalis said...

I'm thought it was the Best Western in Dalston, but maybe that was another skip.

X

Curvaceous Dee said...

Eeeeet's alive!!! *waves hello*

xx Dee

cherry said...

Like the sound of a moleskin notebook.Moleskin trousers were popular once, maybe you could start a new trend in moleskin underwear.

cherry said...

Where ya been hon

Lizzy said...

This made me laugh! Can we have more posts please?? =)

Freddy said...

i really should subscribe i guess
and then i wouldn't miss
the days you write, and yes
i love it when you take the piss