Sunday, 31 July 2011

Travellers' Tales #1

So, there I was in my budget hotel room, sitting upon the white expanse of duvet and gazing at the banana I'd placed on the table, thinking "if I was a proper sex blogger that banana would be about to be deployed as an impromptu sex aid, most likely to the faux surprise of somebody tied to that table, and this duvet would become most horribly stained."

I am, of course, not a proper sex blogger so I merely ate the banana in an unrestrained fashion and the duvet remained unsullied.

I did rub the complimentary micro-soap over my lady areas in a steamy solo shower session later but since I failed to post photos of this online, with obligatory click-throughs of me with a loofah up my arse, it doesn't really count and I can't have an award.


Ceeej said...

Ahh, missed opportunities and 'what ifs'.

Not even in a vaguely salacious manner?

Carnalis said...

I shall award you my newly created 'Titter Award', for making me laugh voluptuously (of course). More please!

Jackie Adshead said...

Can't you have an award for the naughty thought at least, if not the action...?

Walker said...

Yes but in all fairness you did swallow the whole banana.

Anonymous said...

This had me in stitches....just like the ones in your reinforced gusset! I have it on good authority that perverted hotel staff leave bananas in females rooms in convenient locations, then surreptitiously listen at the door (is there any other way of listening at a door?)..for revealing noises.
Good for you that you waited until you had a shower to have a fiddle. I am sure the porter would only have heard the water pouring and the sounds of you whistling to Ravels's Bolero.

Luka said...

I was going to comment that I should at least get an award for the least stained sheets in a budget hotel room, but then I remembered I dropped my lipstick on the bed and made a big red mark.