Tuesday, 1 June 2010

Keeping it Real

I have been blogging here, in the Boudoir, for a goodly while now. Years, even.

I have teased you with glimpses of my wobbly parts, my mad professor hair and snaggle-toothed smile.

I have entertained you with my big and clever swearing.

I have made you laugh with my well-turned phrases and comedy cucumber.

I have left you cold with my poetry.

Yet I have never let you see the real me.

And I never will.

Yes, rest assured that in a virtual world where every other anonymous blogger seems to be throwing aside their pseudonyms and joyfully exposing themselves you can rely on this one to keep her realistic parts under wraps.

Bloggers across the net are discarding their nom de plumes and embracing the fact that they can now write about their real lives, their actual friends and family, without giving the game away. It's like the current appetite for reality TV, for gossip magazines, for all the mundane and humdrum details of people's lives to be laid bare and discussed endlessly. It's undeniably real and undeniably dreary. I don't want to watch some pot-bellied oaf scratching his arse on reality TV. I want to watch a bloody good drama where beautiful women do terrible things to handsome men. Or something. I want escapism, sequins and a soft focus lens. If I want reality I'll close the laptop.

With that in mind, and assuming there are others like me, I will be residing in the Boudoir, and resisting the urge to witter on about my career aspirations or family escapades, for the forseeable future. I may post occasionally about my cat but other than that I'll try to keep it unreal.


Charlene said...

I applaud your keeping the shade pulled down, metaphorically speaking. I hate reality shows. When I play the "next blog" game I am forever running across "family blogs". They are nauseating. I don't want to see 5000 pictures of your children, pets, birthday cakes on fire, your pregnant belly, your wedding and courtship stories. Keep that tripe to yourself or for your immediate family by invitation only. I get enough reality in real life. Give me fantasy!

When I blog I speak of actual events with real people or things I do myself, in the real world. I have changed all the names of living people. I use my first name and the names of people who are dead. And, yes there is a bit of viewing these actual events through the lovely fine mesh of gauzy curtains.

Ceeej said...

Oh, I've missed the poetry, perhaps not Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz standard but very enjoyable nonetheless....

Stay behind the laptop, it's much more fun when you can post whatever you like..

Ceeej said...

Oh, and hit the right bloody button this time ok?

Helga Hansen said...

There was a little girl, who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good, and when she was bad she was horrid.

You're so bad you're good... I don't want that to change. Please?

And there is no way I am doing a "who am I" reveal - I revel in my the freedom of my anonymity - and if you do happen to know who I am, it's because I let you. Deal with it! :D

Heff said...

Whip us, beat us, FILL US FULL OF SHIT...

Luka said...

Charlene - I am with you all the way. This fad for revealing all and suddenly posting one's true credentials is an obvious ploy for friendless cyberdweebs to finally persuade real people to meet them down the pub.

Ceeej - I am sure the muse will strike me again at some point. And yes, see, I hit the correct moderation button this time!

Helga - I can't see me changing at this stage. For better or worse.

Heff - Assume the position!

Walker said...

But But But I am Darth Walker :P

I understand what you say.

Anonymous said...

Bete de bore!


Luka said...

Walker - I am glad.

Anonymous - Mwah back atcha!