Monday, 18 January 2010

Could it be Magic?

Today I keep thinking about people who have hurt me. The bastards.

Forgiveness is a fine thing. Bitterness only corrodes the vessel containing it. It is best to learn from such things and move on.

Yet still I find myself making vegetable voodoo dolls and visiting arse grapes upon them.

"Hemorrhoids, hemorrhoids, hemorrhoids," I incant, cackling madly to myself and affixing a bunch of seedless red to the parsnip doll's derriere.

Of course the whole thing is merely an exercise in venting emotion and can in no way cause actual harm. Or can it? If you've ever upset me and now can't sit down without wincing and reaching for your inflatable rubber ring do let me know!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Serves you right for dating vegetables really...

Ro said...

Hmmm ... just how badly did I upset you??

Sulpicia said...

leave it to you to come up with a new way to abuse vegetables!

but i thought you were the original, re: is your vegetable consenting to this ignominious act?

Helga Hansen said...

You could have at least send me an inflatable cushion before you did it! :D

Walker said...

Hmmm veggie voodoo dolls.
Why not, you can cook and eat them after.
I am sure breast implants will be popular among your enemies

I believe in forgiveness.
After i get my revenge HA HA HA!!!!!

Luka said...

Anonymous - makes a change from nuts.

Ro - I didn't cause the sciatica, I promise!

Sulpicia - my vegetables are all unwilling victims and I like it that way.

Helga - I assumed you would knit something sequinned and fabulous to sit upon!

Walker - I like your style!

Ro said...

And I promise I wasn't referring to sciatica!

ceeej said...

Ahh, you have a nut allergy too?