Another week, another reader dilemma.
What do you do when someone only ever says hello online, in chat, when they want a wank?
It's really insulting. I can ping them with endless 'hey there's and 'how're you?'s and they just ignore me. That doesn't bother me particularly as I know other people have stuff going on in their real lives and can't always respond. What does annoy me is that when this person does finally deign to drop me a line it's inevitably because they are horny and want me to shove the webcam up my nightie.
What would you advise?
Fed Up of Hands Free"
This problem is more common than you might expect, Fed Up of Hands Free. While you don't specify gender in your email I'm assuming your masturbatory messenger is a man as this, in my experience, is very much a blokey trait. (Unless you, dear readers, know otherwise, and if so do feel free to educate me in the comments box).
The thing is, men are really, really good at compartmentalising. They can divide and sub-divide their lives into convenient packages - Work, Play, Food, Fuck, Toilet, Pub - and give each their total attention. Individually. The ability to focus so completely means that men can only concentrate on one compartment at a time. So while on some level they recognise you are a lovely person with a multi-faceted personality and deserving of an in-depth conversation about how your day went, they are unable to act upon it whilst already thinking about dinner, for example.
The more advanced male will make an effort later, once you fill his field of vision at some point. The less advanced male will not. He is unlikely to make contact until his bollocks need emptying and you happen to fill his field of vision at a serendipitous moment. At which point he is unlikely to ask about your day as he is now entirely focused upon his cock. It's not meant to be offensive, it's just that you're there, you're a woman and - should you prove willing to type a few "oh yeah"s and "fuck me"s or, even better, get your tits out on camera and insert various root vegetables up your flange - you're much cheaper than phoning a dedicated wankline.
In contrast the female ability to multitask means that while Mr Only Says Hi When He's Horny is going hands free in one window, you can continue several other online conversations, update your blog, watch a film, jot some notes for work tomorrow, organise your music collection and tidy the living room, so your time won't be entirely wasted if you decide to indulge him.
On the other hand you might think exchanges mostly consisting of "what are you wearing?", "mmmm", "I'm going to cum" and then watching a blurry webcam image of them spodging onto their keyboard are no big loss and just set your messenger status to "busy".