Monday, 10 August 2009

In the Company of Pooves

Heterosexual men are so difficult to have as friends.

There is always - always - the spectre of sexual involvement hanging over friendships with the opposite sex. While it is fun to flirt and the frisson of possibility can be most pleasurable, it can also become tiring and, in extreme cases, embarrassing, damaging and unsightly.

This is just one of the many reasons I so enjoy my time in the company of pooves. My friends are not of the high camp variety. Well, maybe one or two have their moments. But in general they tend to ride motorcycles, have beards and drink beer. They love good food, good ale and travelling. When they travel to see me I get to enjoy all the things I like about being with men - motorcycles, beards, beer, to name a few - without any sexual undercurrents. Well, none eddying in my direction anyway.

They spoil me rotten, bringing me fine wines, cooking me fine food, entertaining me with excellent conversation and bestowing all the hugs and kisses I could wish for. It's like an endless courtship, these tactile, attentive things that heterosexual men tend to stop doing once they've nobbed you a few times.

I have spent the past few days in the company of my pooves. I am feeling much improved for it.


Heff said...

You can HAVE the pooves.

Anonymous said...

Huh. Now, why don't my dyke friends cook me dinner, or bring me any wine?

Well, I guess one reason is that they all drink beer and "hard" iced tea, and rarely cook anything more complicated than omelettes. But hell, they could at least make the attempt.

Luka said...

Heff - I do have the pooves.

Tom - Odd, isn't it? Maybe men in general love to cook for others whereas women just want a night off and a long, cool drink?

unique_stephen said...

Sex is why we are different.
The urgency with which it fills me....

Anonymous said...


Actually, what usually happens is that I end up cooking dinner for my dyke friends.

Of course, anybody who knows me will tell you that I'm always grilling up things for people.

Maybe I need some poofy friends, too.

Riff Dog said...

Hmmmm, maybe I should give this "poove" business a try.

Yes, I think I could handle bringing you fine wines, cooking you fine food, and entertaining you with excellent convers . . . okay, so maybe I'll fall short on the conversation part. But as far as all the hugs and kisses you could wish for, sign me up!

Now, I assume you have your poove friends come into dressing rooms with you as you try on dresses and stuff, right? And pillow fights with you in bra and panties is a standard evening activity, right?

Yes, I think I must give this poove business a try . . .

Liam said...

You're probably right. But why mess with nature. The true platonic female friends I ever had were all and some still are hookers.

Luka said...

Unique Stephen - quite so.

Tom - everyone should have some poofy friends. It is good that you cook, I love people who cook.

Riff Dog - I could give you a trial run at being a poove. You must bring ripe blue cheese, crisp white wine, hugs, kisses and only fondle my bosoms in an ironic fashion. It's a tough job, but the hours are good.

Liam - True platonic friendships are so rare that there have been times that I almost doubted their existence.

Happy said...

hell's teeth, if it means a chance tofondle your boobs in any fashion "I'm free!"

Riff Dog said...

Okay, but I get to decide exactly what "an ironic fashion" is.

Now, do I have to tie my shirt in a knot in the front and learn all the words to Cher songs?

Luka said...

Happy - this is useful information.

Riff - no, just drink beer and laugh at my jokes.

Pateinduced said...

This is the first I heard of "pooves". But I'm from a foreign country. The language barrier between Brit./Am. can be pretty broad. Knickers always grab my imagination; my father wore them, and we had a sport team with that name.

Having had two pooves for bosses for the last 24 years, I've found the safety you ladies feel in their presence a bit segregationist. And, that has been about my only complaint. I don't carry sexual spectres, but I do enjoy seminal intercourse.