Wednesday, 15 July 2009

You Know You're Over Him When...

  • You realise the special song you used to share is actually crap
  • You've used his old letters to line the cat litter tray
  • You no longer brood, darkly. The most you can summon, should you think of him at all, is a dismissive "twat"
  • You've deleted his name from your phone
  • You've deleted his emails
  • You've deleted all his pictures
  • Where you had his name tattooed as a gesture of love you have now added "is a twat"
  • You can't think of his sex face without laughing
  • You've cut your hair short
  • You've grown your pubes long
  • You haven't checked your phone for messages all day
  • The thought of not seeing him again fills you with relief
  • You consider telling him what a colossal twat he is but really can't be arsed
  • You so want him to find happiness elsewhere you buy him an online dating membership
  • You have difficulty recalling his face
  • You have trouble remembering his name

Have I missed anything?


Ceeej said...

Flopsy's safe then?

unique_stephen said...

methinks one doth protest too much

Suzanne Portnoy said...

You try and remember one single nice day that you spent together and you can't.

The memory of your relationship is like a big, black hole.

When seeing him again, you wonder what ever possessed you to fuck him in the first place.

Carnalis said...

You forget what his avatar looks like.

You throw away the sex toys that you bought together

You forget the significant journey/address/restaurant that you shared.

Lynsey said...

That thing he does you once found endearing now makes you cringe.

Now when he tries to push your buttons, the attempt comes off as flaccid rather than barbed.

Anonymous said...

"•You no longer brood, darkly. The most you can summon, should you think of him at all, is a dismissive "twat"

Nah, that pretty much covers it. (And the above made me hoot with laughter.)

Duke Orsino said...

I think most of these things are signs that you're *not* over him. In my admittedly limited experience, that moment comes when you have to grace to realise that while he might have behaved appallingly, in a way you didn't deserve, it was just the way he was. It's pointless trying to make him feel responsible. It'll never happen.

Bundle it up, remember the good times, wish him well, and move on to spend your precious time on people who deserve you.

Luka said...

Ceeej - safe and warm and wet and just about done by now.

Unique Stephen - never!

Suzanne - so, so true. Especially the last one.

Carnalis - the forgetting is key, I think.

Lynsey - oh yes indeed. Being impervious to button pressing is such a significant sign that you've moved on.

Sapphirejay - yay! It's so good to bring pleasure from misery.

Duke - Wise words. Thank you.

Big Geek said...

When you find the little plastic bag in the freezer that has it penis in it and you can toss it out with being concerned about the freezer burn.

Luka said...

Big Geek - I might make a nice stock first.