Monday, 2 March 2009

Magic Knickers

You know the kind. They are made of super stretchy lycra and are designed to pull your buttocks up, your stomach in and make you look toned and gorgeous (despite the fact that all your fat is now simply hanging over the top of the waistband). As undergarments go they are in the "tight" department. Putting them on is no mean feat.

I mention this because today I horribly injured myself in the mundane act of pulling on my knickers this morning. Seriously. I simply stepped into my magic knickers, pulled them up and - twang! - something gave. It was not the knickers. It was not even, thankfully, my bladder.

No, it was something in my ribcage. Something less elastic than my magic underwear simply snapped and I was left gasping and flopping around like a fish out of water. Whatever it is, it hurts like a bastard.

Bad magic knickers. Black magic knickers! I have the evil sort. I should have opted for white. Not only do they not make me look like the woman on the packet they also gave me some sort of internal rupture.

Am I cursed? Or has anyone else managed to hurt themselves quite badly in a truly trivial way?


Ro said...

I don't know if it's comparable but I managed to put my back out on one memorable occasion by sneezing.

I hope your "twang" has left no long-lasting effects.

Carnalis said...

i sliced open the knuckle on my index finger while shaving my legs last week. It won't heal and stings like buggery.


i have had spasms from laughing too much, but i don't mind that sort of pain.

I have magic knickers too, but i call them my 'first date' pants .. no-one but me gets to take them off.

Valeera said...

Oh my God...think I wet my panties a bit from laughing toooooo much.......
No,I do not own such thing...and will not it is sound quite

unique_stephen said...

I strained my tongue once lifting weights, not with my tounge, just when I pressed it into the roof of my mouth in exertion - errrrrrrrrrrrrkh

Luka said...

Ro - sneezing is quite a common cause for broken ribs too, I hear.

Carnalis - sliced knuckles are ouchy. Razors are buggers for that.

Valeera - I think that's wise. The magic knickers are evil!

Unique Stephen - ouch. That's the least fun way to strain your tongue.