Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Misplaced Desire

There is an advert on the television at the moment which puzzles and disturbs me in equal measure.

To the strains of the sultry "Fever" a woman has a romantic candlelit dinner with her cat.

It's not even a new theme. This particular brand of cat food has used the same premise - glamour puss has hot date with furry four legged puss - for nearly two decades, at least. I am perplexed. Do the advertising executives have client meetings where they point at a pie chart and claim that the huge segment shaded in red is their target audience, women in their thirties who are unable to form meaningful relationships with others and have consequently developed an inappropriate fixation on their cat?

In my opinion they fall between two stools here. If you have the kind of mental disorder that makes you want to seduce your pet and you've gone to all the trouble of putting on a sexy little black dress, dimming the lights and carefully selecting your mood music then surely you're not going to ruin it all by serving up a small tin of horse meat? A grilled chicken breast is a minimum requirement, I think. Maybe some smoked salmon. If, on the other hand, like me, you don't actually fancy your feline and just buy it anything that happens to be on offer then you are unlikely to shell out on a tiny, overpriced tin of "gourmet" cat food no matter how sexy the advert makes it sound.

I simply do not know exactly who this advert is designed to appeal to. I mean, I like cats, but I don't choose them as dinner companions. Men may have their faults but they are not as prone to dragging the food off the plate to eat from the floor in preference, licking their arse to indicate boredom or yakking up the gourmet fine dining on your duvet later. They also tend to arrive with flowers or wine, rather than a half dead rodent clamped in their jaws, growling fiercely when you say "let me just take that for you".

But perhaps I am missing something somewhere, and an evening with Mr Fluffy is worth getting your hair done and shaving your legs for. Tell me truthfully - would you ever choose a pet for your dinner date?

14 comments:

nursemyra said...

not over a man with flowers and wine....

Freddy said...

I was in Asda on Feb 13th ... making my traditional last minute dash to buy a card with a suitably non-gushy sentiment

They were selling Valentine's Day cards for cats and dogs

I wondered then what sort of market there was for such things, even at 99p each. But if you'll buy a Valentine's Day card, then I'm sure you'll dress up and light candles.

Heff said...

I........don't see it.

Dante d'Amore said...

Hahahahahahaha!

Hilarious post!

Jackie Adshead said...

Nope! Sounds a bit weird this idea. Perhaps its to prove how much you "love" your cat? (and I don't mean that in a sexual way!!).

EmmaK said...

I have never had a romantic dinner with a cat. I was thinking a new version of this advert might be more fun, the woman is primping herself for this big dinner and in the end we pan over and see a vibrator sitting in the man's place wearing a bowtie. I think some women definitely would prefer dinner with a vibrator than with a bore who drones on about how fascinating he is.

Luka said...

Nurse Myra - very wise.

Freddy - That is bizarre - mind you, I have a feeling I saw similar cards last year, that said "from your pet on Mother's Day" or suchlike.

Heff - no, nor I!

Dante d'Amore - I thank you.

Jackie - very possibly, though I prefer to prove my love by not drowning them when they wee in my laptop bag.

Emma - plus you can eat all the dessert by yourself!

Ro said...

I'm pleased to say I've never seen that advert. However ...

I did once know a woman who loved her cat so much that she wouldn't feed "him" any cat food that she hadn't tested herself first. Yes, she used to sample the Whiskas. No greater love ... and all that jazz.

Even she, though, preferred to have her sensual nights with men (or, occasionally I understand, women).

Famulus said...

Not again, no.

Terrible disappointment.

But then it was probably for the best.

Luka said...

Ro - eww! Imagine her fishy breath! Cat food can't possibly have a good flavour or cats wouldn't have to lick their arses to take the taste away.

Famulus - What was the biggest let down? Conversation or table manners?

Famulus said...

Luka: I was very happy but she had problems with my tail. I just couldn't get it up for her...

It's never happened before...

Walker said...

Maybe its those who can't get a date and like cat food.
Puss N Boots for two

Luka said...

Famulus - Ah. Erectail Dysfunction.

Walker - They probably can't get a date *because* they like cat food. I swear cat shit smells worse than any other form of poo.

Famulus said...

Sniff. Yes.