A blogger reported missing earlier this week has been found safe and well in a Surbiton garden shed.
After numerous blog closures, concerns were raised that the blogger in question may have "done something stupid. Stupider than normal, even."
The blogger's disappearance was reported on Monday by a worried reader who had noticed a cessation of arsey blog posts and a total absence of snitty comments elsewhere. "When I checked my email I hadn't even had a threatening or offensive message, rebuking me for my commenting habits and choice of friends. It just wasn't usual."
The blogger was, however, found late Thursday evening when a passerby heard typing from a shed.
Our reporter managed an exclusive interview conducted through a knothole in the door.
"For reasons too dull to go into," the blogger said, "I have decided to relocate to my shed. In many ways confining myself to a small space and an even smaller group of readers is very liberating. In here I am free to tell it like it is without fear of contradiction. I can stick two fingers up at the world but can't be seen through the window. If an Englishman's home is his castle then surely his shed is his very own secure unit.
Will I be back? Too soon to say. While I have my thermos and my box of fishpaste sandwiches I am in no hurry to leave.
Besides, at least while I'm in here that bitch Luka can't post any more stupid articles about me."