Friday, 5 December 2008

Missing Blogger Found in Shed

A blogger reported missing earlier this week has been found safe and well in a Surbiton garden shed.

After numerous blog closures, concerns were raised that the blogger in question may have "done something stupid. Stupider than normal, even."

ARSEY

The blogger's disappearance was reported on Monday by a worried reader who had noticed a cessation of arsey blog posts and a total absence of snitty comments elsewhere. "When I checked my email I hadn't even had a threatening or offensive message, rebuking me for my commenting habits and choice of friends. It just wasn't usual."

The blogger was, however, found late Thursday evening when a passerby heard typing from a shed.
EXCLUSIVE

Our reporter managed an exclusive interview conducted through a knothole in the door.

"For reasons too dull to go into," the blogger said, "I have decided to relocate to my shed. In many ways confining myself to a small space and an even smaller group of readers is very liberating. In here I am free to tell it like it is without fear of contradiction. I can stick two fingers up at the world but can't be seen through the window. If an Englishman's home is his castle then surely his shed is his very own secure unit.

FISHPASTE

Will I be back? Too soon to say. While I have my thermos and my box of fishpaste sandwiches I am in no hurry to leave.

Besides, at least while I'm in here that bitch Luka can't post any more stupid articles about me."

8 comments:

Helga Hansen said...

Of course he'll be back... it gets cold in a shed, and the limelight can be so warming!

~wanders off whistling "His Nuts Roasting On An Open Fire"~

Luka said...

Helga - sheds today can be very comfortable, I hear. You can put up little gingham curtains and everything.

Carnalis said...

*passing another glass of wine*

Perhaps he might prefer a wardrobe, during the winter months.

Luka said...

Carnalis - oh, yes, a trip to Narnia to eat Turkish Delight with the White Witch would be quite a welcome variation on a theme!

Walker said...

The bugs(Millipedes, spider, centapedes) living in the will scare him out eventually.

Luka said...

Walker - or possibly the other way round.

Sulpicia said...

Ah... sheds. We call them shacks up here. A whole neighbourhood. And the street going through? Ragged Ass Road. I shit you not. I can send you a polar bear licence plate to prove it! Catching up on my reading and you make me laugh as usual. Mwah.

Luka said...

Sulpicia - hello! Glad to see you back and even gladder I can still make you laugh.