Monday, 15 December 2008

Financing Infidelity

What sacrifices will adulterers have to make in these credit crunchy times? As businesses fold and belts are tightened the first things to face the chop are those inessential luxuries - eating out, holidays, new clothes. So where does that leave our unfaithful sex bloggers?

Affairs are undeniably expensive. Lingerie, hotel rooms, sex toys, phone calls, travel; they all cost money. Historically there has always been a degree of doublethink involved in such situations. I have known sex bloggers who will wail about their lack of finances, claiming to be on the brink of economic disaster, not knowing how they'll afford this month's mortgage payment or presents for the kids this Christmas. So no winter getaway for the family and knickers from Primark for the missus. Then they blithely fork out for travel tickets, a hotel room, lingerie for the lover and an expensive hunk of metal for them to wear up their arse on the ride home. And then go home to a row with the wife over the leccy bill.

But now, with times so hard, will it truly be possible to sustain these doublethink double lives without going bust or being busted? I predict a great deal more stories featuring sex in cars, sex with inexpensive household items and sex remembered from more prosperous times.

9 comments:

Angela-la-la said...

Aren't sex toys free as long as you review their use en blog? Some of the more trendy, lifestyle brand vibes are worth the same as a fortnight in a Travel Inn!

Luka said...

Angela-la-la - you're right. God, if I see yet another review for a fucking Lelo cuntwobbler I may spit. For fucks sake. Vibrating things on the clit feel nice. We get it. We know.

Suzanne Portnoy said...

Too true. I do wish people would stop sending me the stuff. I have had to move house a couple of times just to accomodate all the sex toys I've been sent over the years.

As for travelling to visit one's lover... what's that all about? Like rampant rabbits, lingerie from Ann Summers and cybersex, travelling for sex is something for the sex bloggers still playing on the Junior League. Anyone who has been at this game for a while knows that distance does not make the heart grow fonder, just frustrated. I haven't so much as crossed the river for a shag in years...

Freak At Heart said...

I wouls say that you are 100% correct on this one!!

Luka said...

Suzanne - are there any bloggers out there who buy their own toys any more, I wonder?

Travel broadens the mind, I suppose, and it has certainly widened a few legs, but I rather like my narrow little world of live-in love-making. It saves time, money, and having to carry kinky appliances any great distance.

Freak at Heart - I usually am, it's why I am so unpopular.

Freddy said...

Hmmm that's an intereresting looking cap. I wonder if it fits?

Just a little snug round the forehead, but I think I can get away with it??

Suzanne it seems that one of the outcomes of being a 'popular sex blogger' is the removal of the need to cross the river for a shag. I'll assume that that's a reference to being in London? So, you just limit yourself to the possibilities within 4 millon or so souls. Imagine how far someone who lives in Wales has to go to achieve the same level of choice? Or an Aberdonian?

Suzanne Portnoy said...

I think most people living in London would prefer not to cross the river for a shag, not just sex bloggers. I can perfectly understand that if you live in the country you may need to drive to another town or even county to find a fuck buddy. Besides, it's so much nicer when someone comes to me. There's nothing worse than waking up in a foreign bed to go to the toilet only to find the toilet roll is empty and not having a clue where the fresh ones are kept.

Jackie Adshead said...

Perhaps they could do a car sharing scheme, as well as a house swopping one? I'll travel to your house for a shag, whilst you travel to mine whilst the wifes at her sisters for the night, then I can bring someone else back with me who can have a shag with their lover whilst........

Whatdoyouthink? would it work? :)

Luka said...

Freddy - please don't send me hate mail :)

Suzanne - other people's houses always smell alien.

Jackie - that's actually a good idea :) You should set up a swapshop scheme and cash in!