INTERNATIONAL TOP SEX BLOGGER SAYS "NOB NOT SMALL"
After reports this week that an International Top Sex Blogger was bad in bed I can confirm that the Boudoir has received an email from someone named "Mystery Sex Dude" in which they claim to be have been grossly misrepresented.
"I can't believe you would stoop to publishing such obvious falsehoods," writes Mystery Sex Dude. "Everything I write on my blog is true. To imply otherwise is intolerable and I may well sue you, your anonymous informant and anyone who ever comments upon your stupid, childish blog for defamation of character. I am good in bed and I have been Fleshbotted and Sugasmed and that proves it. You've seen my blogroll? That's not just a list of blogs I like to read, that's a Who's Who of lucky tarts who've had a go on my love prong.
Anyway, I should be the one complaining about her," he went on. "She emailed me to say she enjoyed my writing and led me to believe she was up for anything. She sent a picture of her arse and everything. Then when we met she turned out to have numerous hang-ups and wouldn't even touch my nob without first putting on a pair of gardening gloves.
As for me 'not touching the sides', that's rich! She told me she had a fanny 'like a mouse's ear' but when I got down to it, it was like fucking a welly top."
Mystery Sex Dude concluded by boldly stating "You're a total cunt, Luka, and you are under no circumstances to publish any part of this email."