Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Top Sex Blogger in "Not Crap" Comeback Shocker


After reports this week that an International Top Sex Blogger was bad in bed I can confirm that the Boudoir has received an email from someone named "Mystery Sex Dude" in which they claim to be have been grossly misrepresented.


"I can't believe you would stoop to publishing such obvious falsehoods," writes Mystery Sex Dude. "Everything I write on my blog is true. To imply otherwise is intolerable and I may well sue you, your anonymous informant and anyone who ever comments upon your stupid, childish blog for defamation of character. I am good in bed and I have been Fleshbotted and Sugasmed and that proves it. You've seen my blogroll? That's not just a list of blogs I like to read, that's a Who's Who of lucky tarts who've had a go on my love prong.


Anyway, I should be the one complaining about her," he went on. "She emailed me to say she enjoyed my writing and led me to believe she was up for anything. She sent a picture of her arse and everything. Then when we met she turned out to have numerous hang-ups and wouldn't even touch my nob without first putting on a pair of gardening gloves.


As for me 'not touching the sides', that's rich! She told me she had a fanny 'like a mouse's ear' but when I got down to it, it was like fucking a welly top."

Mystery Sex Dude concluded by boldly stating "You're a total cunt, Luka, and you are under no circumstances to publish any part of this email."


Freddy said...


Carnalis said...

one big hungry cat ...

wicked Luka x

Luka said...

Freddy and Carnalis - I can be a big, bad cat, with sharp teeth, wicked claws and a rough, pink tongue, but I am also likely to want to curl up in your lap and let you stroke my belly and tickle behind my ears. And give me fish.

Ro said...

It's strange I know, but I cannot help feeling that being manipulated by a woman in gardening gloves simply has to be a recognised fetish.

I probably read about it somewhere {ahem}

Old and past it said...

You've got me choking on my pasty again! Thanks Luka for adding smiles to the day. If you were my cat, you'd definitely be on sardines.

B said...

I've always cosidered 'you're a total cunt' to be a compliment.

keep up the good work!

B said...


it's not my ineptitude, it's the keyboard.

Luka said...

Ro - did you read it in Gardening Glove Gropes Monthly? :)

Old and Past It - that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

B - thank you, I will do my best to sustain my total cuntdom.