Monday, 24 November 2008

Threats and Intimidation

Today I wrote a silly little post, based on the adverts for the News of the World I remember from my youth. There would be some big-haired, satin-nightie-clad model, with a lot of lip gloss, breathily promising to tell all about her six-times-a-night sex romps with the preferred permed footballer of the time.

It seems a certain blogger has decided that this post was some sort of coded threat to him, personally, that I really was going to write some sort of expose. This is not the case. It was a bit of fluff. I did not think for one moment that anyone would think references to five-in-a-box chat sessions, sock puppets or raiding dustbins would be taken as any sort of serious subject matter.

Two people commented on my post. Both have been subject to threats via email. I kid you not. Threats. If they wish to "get involved" with my "toxic vendetta" then they will have their secrets exposed in some twisted revenge scenario. Revenge for something which hasn't actually occurred. I haven't actually exposed anything real. It is satire.

My poor, hapless commenters have been told to delete their comments. For fuck's sake. These are utterly harmless comments which reference no one. How could they? I am utterly distraught that they have had to deal with threats and abuse in their inbox simply because they had the temerity to post "picgeaonts again?" and "naked scandal?" in my comments box.

It is beyond mad.

I contacted the irate blogger in question to assure him that no expose is intended or forthcoming and that the post was a simple continuation on a tabloid theme. I was told to take down the post and then he would talk, maybe, tomorrow. Until then, fuck off. So, that went well.

I am not taking down the post. It is a harmless post. It is full of obvious silliness and untruths - how can it possibly cause all this wankery and distress? I will not be bullied or threatened into censoring my blog. Conversely, I absolutely do not want my friends to suffer for my actions.

I don't mind what gets thrown my way, I deserve a few kicks up the arse now and then for the mockery I direct at the sex blogging world. I expect it. It's only fair. But when I find out other people are being intimidated because they comment on me - that's just not on. That's the mark of a true bully.

28 comments:

B said...

we all deserve a good kick up the arse now and then.

my mind boggles at the back story here, I'm secretly hoping i'll get 'bullied' so I find out more...

oh no I don't. I just like the idea of drama.

surely there are more important things for sex bloggers to be doing.... a sex blog is surely not much of a sex blog if they aren't having sex?

Luka said...

B - the idea of drama is much more fun than the reality, I assure you!

Yes, I agree, you would think there would be more loving than fighting going on in the sex blog world.

Let us hope for a peaceful resolution!

Carnalis said...

i can assure you, B, that this kind of 'bullying' is very unpleasant. You don't want to know what this is like.

*borrows more condoms from Luka and retreats*

Luka said...

Carnalis - leave me a few for my comedy balloon animal routine!

Helga Hansen said...

So, because you didn't pull the story, he closed up shop and went fishing instead?

Must confess - I did wonder if you'd get any flak...

Well done for sticking to your guns, though... now't worse than a bully!

Luka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Luka said...

Above comment deleted cos of shocking grammar on my part!

Helga - to be fair, I could be accused of bullying (indeed, I have been)as I publically poke fun and not everyone feels comfortable in taking me to task for it.

I regret that, and don't mean to bully anyone, which is why I try to make things so silly they couldn't possibly be hurtful. Sometimes I obviously get it wrong. I just wish it was my arse that got kicked and not anyone elses.

Neysa Lee said...

Good grief. Can you imagine, though, how wonderful it must feel to have self-esteem so inflated that you assume everything written is about you? I almost envy the deluded little fucker.

Helga Hansen said...

Couldn't have worded it better myself! :D

Luka said...

Neysa - hello! You are not the first to say it, but you have said it exceptionally well.

Helga - it was eloquently put wasn't it?

Osbasso said...

Very late on getting up to some sense of speed here, but damn! You people across the pond certainly do blogdrama a whole lot better than we do!

Luka said...

Os - it's only because there's not much on telly tonight :)

Freddy said...

tearends

another sex blog vanishes up it's own intimately violated back passage... mine did the same a year ago
nobody seems to have missed that either

Bulldog said...

If you dont include me in your graphic depiction of a scandalous sex-romp, I am going to cut out my own perineum with the lid of a rusty bean tin. be warned!

Walker said...

Hmmmm, how come no one picks on me?
I could use a little squab to wipe my arse with.

Luka said...

Freddy - your comments are like little brain teasers that furrow my brow over my morning coffee :)

Bulldog - hello! Well, obviously I want to include you in my graphic depictions, but the bean tin self-mutilation thing also sounds newsworthy...choices, choices...

Walker - you're obviously not coming over offensively enough. Try using the words "romp" and "naked" more often, it seems to work for me.

Riff Dog said...

I think you misinterpreted Bulldog. His scandalous sex romp includes the rusty bean tin. He tried to include me in it once, but it got a little too kinky for my tastes.

B said...

riff, I can't believe he tried to include you too?

I thought I was the only one!

Luka said...

Riff - the rusty bean tin fetish is a select one, I'll grant you that, but who are we too judge?

Luka said...

B - I feel so unselect now...

Suzanne Portnoy said...

What I can't understand is why sex bloggers feel that it's necessary to fuck each other. There are plenty of other people in the world to shag. I once shagged a sex blogger and I can tell you, I won't be doing THAT again.

Luka said...

Suzanne - heh. I would ask for details, but I fear exposes cause tantrums in these here parts.

As for why sex bloggers shag other sex bloggers - I have theories:

1. No-one else will
2. It instantly doubles the number of people who actually want to read about their dribbly bits.
3. The endless fun they can have leaving each other wankadelic comments like "ooh, I hope your lover appreciated your crotchless pants and tattoo."
4. No, really, no one else will.

MonMouth said...

OK, big deal - some dude gets irate and cranky... whatever.

The sock-puppet incident is what really matters here. Don't get sidetracked by some oversensitive wanker - give us the smutty details!

There's no substitute for good old-fashioned puppet smut.

x

Luka said...

Monmouth - how about I enact the entire smutty, sleazy, sauce-laden scandal with actual sock puppets? It'll be like Punch and Judy, only with more violence and a bigger sausage.

B said...

yay!more violence and a bigger sausage!
where do i get tickets?
is there a bulk purchase option? I'd quite like to bring the whole family along instead of enduring the annual horror of panto.

or wait... I have usherette experience, can I be the girl in front with the ice cream?

Luka said...

B - if you'll wear the usherette uniform provided you can have tickets to all my performances, plus I'll let you put your hand in one of the puppets.

B said...

sounds like an offer I can't refuse... but I've been duped like this before; What exactly am I contracted to wear?

Luka said...

B - it is a very fetching little ensemble, though admittedly a bit on the snug side. You'll like it.