Once upon a time I watched an exercise video, which, as part of the body sculpting section, ascertained that when a woman stands, feet together, there should be gaps between her legs, as per the following image:
These little areas of unfilled space are the signs that your legs are well toned, shapely and socially acceptable.
I stood before the mirror, legs together, and saw not one chink of daylight between them. Well, maybe at the ankles. A bit.
I was so upset at this undeniable sign of imperfect legs I didn't have the heart to do the exercises after that, and watched the rest of the video from the sofa, with a pie.
Years later I still have big, pillowy thighs. And a large soft belly. Sturdy hips, burly forearms. Phenomenal bosoms. My shape doesn't concern me anywhere near as much as it did in my more impressionable days, although even now I occasionally succumb to Cosmo Complex.
I mention all this solely because I was looking at this bosom's eye view of my thighs and thinking how they spill over my stocking tops like bread rising over the top of the tin. Mind you, they'd keep your ears warm on a cold night, and that's got to be a bonus.
How about you? Have you a dusty collection of discarded fitness videos too? I have my doubts anyone can be arsed to flail around in front of the TV for long enough to achieve that elusive perfect body part.