Friday, 21 November 2008

Marshmallow Thighs

Once upon a time I watched an exercise video, which, as part of the body sculpting section, ascertained that when a woman stands, feet together, there should be gaps between her legs, as per the following image:

These little areas of unfilled space are the signs that your legs are well toned, shapely and socially acceptable.

I stood before the mirror, legs together, and saw not one chink of daylight between them. Well, maybe at the ankles. A bit.

I was so upset at this undeniable sign of imperfect legs I didn't have the heart to do the exercises after that, and watched the rest of the video from the sofa, with a pie.

Years later I still have big, pillowy thighs. And a large soft belly. Sturdy hips, burly forearms. Phenomenal bosoms. My shape doesn't concern me anywhere near as much as it did in my more impressionable days, although even now I occasionally succumb to Cosmo Complex.

I mention all this solely because I was looking at this bosom's eye view of my thighs and thinking how they spill over my stocking tops like bread rising over the top of the tin. Mind you, they'd keep your ears warm on a cold night, and that's got to be a bonus.

How about you? Have you a dusty collection of discarded fitness videos too? I have my doubts anyone can be arsed to flail around in front of the TV for long enough to achieve that elusive perfect body part.

16 comments:

somechileanwoman said...

I think I might have a Tae Bo video somewhere. I don't even own a VHS tape player anymore so you can tell how long it's been since I've done a video.
The best work out I ever decided to be a part of was dirty dancing classes at the local gym. That only lasted about two months then I moved. I can tell you that I had never felt so confident in sweat pants and a Tshirt.
Girlie girl, I too am curvy, soft and pillow-like and I wouldn't have it any other way. My man loves it, but not as much as I do.

daisyfae said...

Beautiful! i am learning to love my thighs - slowly. and with the help of an adoring lover who seems to delight in my warmth and imperfections... life is easier when i spend my time in the sack, rather than in front of an exercise video!

Tom Allen said...

and watched the rest of the video from the sofa, with a pie.

:laughs:

I can't stand exercise videos. But fortunately, we guys don't get targeted as much by that kind of thing.

And I can't think of a better ear warmer - especially on a chilly New England winter's night.

Carnalis said...

i adore marshmallows.

i used to do a similar thigh test .. ankles together, bend over, touch my toes and check whether my thighs met. I think that led to my earlier body disillusionment. People do wii fit now, but i can't imagine that it beats a brisk walk down the road, and could never trump time spent hot and sweaty in bed with another.

Your photo was a glorious treat a the bottom of the page x

lalita said...

I on the other hand love exercise videos and think that only slim and pretty people should be allowed to have sex.

Freddy said...

The view of your bosoms from the thigh area must be pretty spectacular too.
(My ears were so cold today that I bought a thinsulate hat along with the groceries.)

Old and past it said...

I don't know if I am the only one, but I find those gaps between the legs kinda scary. A guy could get lost in there and never come back. There's this bright light shining through the gaps, it could be a portal to an alien dimension.......

Helga Hansen said...

Hear the wistful sighs at your marshmallow thighs...

Nice headboard...

Luka said...

Some Chilean Woman - ah, dancing! Now that is an exercise I actually enjoy, although I never eally register it as exercise. I should dance more often.

Daisyfae - I am pleased to hear it! In fact, I am inspired to write a post on the appreciation of imperfection.

Tom - I know I'd rather rest my head on two pillows than a couple of sticks.

Carnalis - thank you, dear. Well you're quite right, the Wii has got a long way to go to beat other ways of getting out of breath.

Lalita - as does any right thinking individual.

Freddy - ooh, stop it with your kinky hat talk, you know I have a thing for thinsulate.

Old and Past It - a bit like the closet in Poltergeist, you mean? You could get sucked in and have to be pulled out, re-emerging covered in goo...

Helga - thanks, I like it too, it is most...adaptable.

Braja said...

Honey, that photo is a thousand times more gloriously gorgeous than the woman with the skinny thighs. I love it: "bosom's eye view." :))

L. said...

Yeah, the leg gaps. I remember that's what they told us in ballet and gymnastics and how that's the qualifier for limb-ular perfection. No wonder those professions tend to be rife with vomit-scented tights. It's also why I'm not a ballerina or a gymnast.

In boudoir-type activities, it is so much more fun to focus on where flesh is, rather than where it isn't, no?

Luka said...

Braja - hello! Thank you, you are very generous (like my thighs).

L - Quite so. I really fancied a life in ballet though...(has wistful moment)...but I "crashed around like a baby elephant" as my dear old ma put it, so I took up wrestling instead.

Freak At Heart said...

In my humble opinion you should chuck all of those videos!! From what I have seen of you there needs to be no change at all. I love the term pillowy! Such a sweet perfect image in my head now!

Luka said...

Freak at Heart - hello! The videos are very good for propping up wonky coffee tables, I find. Pillowy is indeed the perfect term for thighs and bosoms.

Old and past it said...

Leg portals: I was actually thinking along HP Lovecraft lines - from these portals there might issue a multi-tentacled alien being from one of the deepest dimensions of hell, a nameless soul-sucking creature of quenchless lubricity, so there would be certainly be goo but no way back......

Anway bread rising from a tin is a much more wholesome image. Pillows to portals!

Luka said...

Old and Past It - ah, of course! But the tentacled being would need an unpronounceable name. And followers.

I am a wholesome kind of girl, really.