Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Cunt Flaps

I like them.

Some are small and pink, like sea shells, some are like Spaniel's ears. They can be asymmetrical, fleshy or barely there at all.

Yet, reading sex blogs, most descriptions of ladybits read as if taken directly from the standardised porn ideal. That is, they are invariably "small", "tight", "delicate" and always "smoothly shaven".

Now, not everyone out there has a tiny, tight, teeny-lipped fanny. Some of you have (or have encountered and enjoyed) big lipped, luscious, accommodating cunts. Hairy ones, to boot.

I mention this because I think it's a shame that unrealistic porn star ideals have led to women getting ludicrous silicon breast implants and having their labia snipped off. In blogland, on supposedly "warts and all, this is really real, I really truly do have real sexy sex with real people" style blogs, one would expect a bit more honesty in descriptions of naughty bits.

There's nothing "bad" about having a big old blart. Let's have less fanny fascism in sex blogging and more appreciation of imperfection.

You start.

20 comments:

EmmaK said...

the most realistic descriptions are
1. liver slammed in a door
2. corned beef curtains

Semele said...

Haha - my lips are very 'tidy', but I'm hairy and proud!

B said...

there is no way you are getting me to talk about my cuntflaps!(but of course they are perfect, I don't like your insinuations)
But your post did remind me of this

Helga Hansen said...

I have no idea whether mine are big or small... I must confess that I've never actively compared mine with someone else's!

I did add some bling to mine, though...

Helga Hansen said...

ROFLMFAO!!!! B, I've just soaked my laptop in tea!!!

Luka said...

Emma - those are both good. I also like "man trap", "spam fritters" and the "hairy love pit".

Semele - hello! Hair is much maligned, isn't it? I think I shall grow mine into a thick and luxuriant thatch.

B - hah! I just *did* get you to talk about your perfect cuntflaps! Very funny clip, that :)

Helga - it could be that yours are neither big nor small but somewhere in between :) I would add bling to mine, but I don't want to pierce anything. Do they do clip-on minge-rings?

Carnalis said...

asymmetrical .. that is me :)

Luka said...

Carnalis - variation is what makes us so much more interesting to play with than plastic dollies.

Freak At Heart said...

I like them all!! I prefer real as apposed to Barbie Doll!!! So bring them on in shape or fashion!

Luka said...

Freak at Heart - that's the spirit!

unique_stephen said...

I don't mind what they look like - it's being invited to look that i like.

somechileanwoman said...

Hey, hey! Not everyone is pink! OK, enough said.

Freddy said...

I love 'em, although the post reminds me of an old joke involving Joan Collins and Niki Lauda...

btw - I got a seven letter word which is, in the circumstances, appropriate...

FLAUNTS

Freddy said...

just remembered that I didn't post my favourite description...

'a fanny like a badly packed kebab'

I also like 'fanny like a clown's pocket'

pip pip

Freddy said...

I'll get me coat

Luka said...

Unique Stephen - I suspect there are many who share that point of view.

Some Chilean Woman - you are quite right! Thank you for flagging that up.

Freddy - you missed "wizard's sleeve" :)

Jackie Adshead said...

And the paintings I've done recently of the "Fantasy Fannies" has shown me that we're all different, as individual as our faces!

Luka said...

Jackie - yes, I did think of your paintings as I wrote this post.

Britni said...

What a great post! I wrote recently about how porn and expectations and descriptions like the ones you mention made me insecure about my vagina for a really long time. But I've accepted, come to terms with, and now love my vagina, cunt flaps and all!

Thank you for this!

Luka said...

Britni - not at all, thank you! I think it's important, in this modern homogenised world where you no longer even see a knobbly root vegetable on the supermarket shelves, that we all remember that variation is the norm.