Monday, 1 September 2008


I have been reviewed!

Over at Your Girlfriend's Diary you can now read for yourselves what The Reviewer thinks my blog is about, what I do well, where I go wrong and, most importantly, why I do the mean things I do.

Your Girlfriend's Diary is a recently established blog which aims to demystify the workings of the female mind through the medium of sex blog review. Having rejected conversation and excessive alcohol consumption as ways to communicate, the only remaining option to learn what your woman is thinking is to read her diary, apparently. But failing that a random sex blog will do. If you ever thought that perhaps what women really want is a range of household items inserted in various orifices, to overuse the words cunt and fuck, to write hyperbolic descriptions of mediocre shags and to have it away with pretty much anyone rather than you, then this site will confirm your suspicions!

(To be fair, the author does acknowledge his Flawed Premises. The simple truth is you will never, ever really know what anyone else is thinking or the motivations for their behaviour, as so few of us are honest with ourselves, let alone anyone else.)

So, do go and take a look. Let me know if you think he's got me banged to rights, or not.

My only real criticism is that nowhere in my review does it mention my fantastic shoes. Oh, Mr Reviewer, you still have much to learn about what women really want!


Freddy said...


are you sure?

not mind-blowing orgasmic sex?

not sweet kisses and cuddles in post-orgasmic glow?

not the instertion of ginger?

but shoes?

excuse me while I go and reconsider my strategy.

PS - one of the above has never been on my list

Anonymous said...

Darlin' what do I need with a review of one of the best blogs on the web? i review and review you often in my dreamsenough to have pretty fair pic of what you all about.
But to be just to your reviewer--meh! Reviewers are reviewers--what's the point when you can read the real thing here?


Helga Hansen said...

Wow! A review from a shark... erm, I mean lawyer! All in all, a good review methinks. Congratulations on being reviewed... it's almost tempting to start up a sex blog just to see what marks I'd get! ~grin~

ceeej said...

Oh I worked out what women want a *long* time ago, in no particular order,

Shoes, Handbags, chocolate, wine, a man who's always willing to admit he's wrong...

Luka said...

Freddy - I will put a tick in all the boxes except the ginger one, but glorious, sexy, fabulous shoes enhance all of those activities greatly.

Beau - you are, as ever, far too biased in my favour and I thank you. Big kisses x

Helga - wow, how do you know these things? The Reviewer being a lawyer, I mean? I missed that info, somehow. Give it a try and see how you do - I have yet to see a bad review.

Ceeej - good list, I can work with that!

Helga Hansen said...

As written on your reviewer's blog...

My real life profession is the subject of a whole genre of jokes, and rightfully so.

I read that, and just made the assumption he was a lawyer. I could be wrong, of course!!

As for the sex writing... I'll leave that to the sexperts!!

Anonymous Boxer said...

Well now, you pricker of pomposity and hypocrisy, congrats! I had no idea that your blog was so many things. I just come for the drama.



Carnalis said...

> My real life profession is the subject of a whole genre of jokes, and rightfully so.

estate agent? traffic warden? social worker? So many jokes, so little time.

Twat on!

Riff Dog said...

Well I, for one,happen to think your shoes are fab-u-lous!

Jackie Adshead said...

Well hopefully the review will widen your fame even more! (can you widen fame, I wonder, now that I've said it?) That, and the fact that you have a shoe fetish, that most feminine of desires!

> My real life profession is the subject of a whole genre of jokes, and rightfully so.

Must be politician!!!! Either that or he's the mother in law.......

anna louise said...

I think people can read your blog in different ways.I find your view on things amusing and amazing taste in shoes as well.
I write my blog for fun.My stories are real and i like to use it to put up bizarre sex things i find interesting.If no one reads it i really dont care.
Anyway its your blog you write whatever you want on it.
Good luck

Walker said...

You're quite the "Pricker" and you don't give it to them from behind but up front where they could see you coming ;)

Luka said...

Helga - ah, I see, you had your detective hat on!

Anonymous Boxer - come for the drama, stay for the shoes and doggerel!

Carnalis - I thought traffic warden too!

Riff Dog - thank you, they are indeed!

Jackie - I am not sure if my fame (infamy?) can be widened. I actually have no idea if anyone reads reviews other than those being reviewed.

Anna Louise - I have found that many people find my teasing funny until they suspect they might be the one being teased, and then they flounce off, the twats.

Walker - absolutely! Up front and in your face, it's the only way.

Suzanne Portnoy said...

I despair and miss the point the entirely. Just why would anyone want to review a bunch of sex blogs?

Luka said...

Suzanne - because they crave the power to make or break someone, Simon Cowell-stylie, but have been unable to make it as a restaurant/theatre/film critic on the local paper and even the WI won't let them judge their jam?