Friday, 12 September 2008

Procrastinate For the End is Nigh

I pinned quite a lot on the possibility of the world ending earlier this week.

There were so many things I thought I would leave because if the world ended it really wouldn't matter any more. Now that it hasn't I am left with the following which I will now actually have to do something about :
  • A forgotten birthday
  • A voice mail about the forgotten birthday
  • Several texts wanting to know if I want to meet up next week as a belated birthday celebration
  • A big fuck off overdraft
  • Road tax
  • That funny intermittant whistling noise from the front wheel of my car when I drive at certain speeds
  • Shaving my legs
  • Pretty much anything work related you can think of
This is the flaw in the theory of living each day as if it were your last.


Suzanne Portnoy said...

Tell me about it. My son left for school the other day saying, 'You know, the world might end today.' 'OK,' I said. 'Bye. It was nice knowing you. You were a good kid.' That's the kind of goodbye I think just works. Unsentimental, straight to the point and final. Like yourself, now I have to deal with all sorts of crap, not least how I'm going to wear these stupid lap dancing shoes all night long.

La BĂȘte said...

The end of the world never comes when you want it to. You'll just get to the point where you think maybe you can live without it and two will come at once though, you'll see.

Suzanne Portnoy, what on earth are lap dancing shoes? I didn't think lap dancers wore shoes. Shows how much I know. Oh, I've just done an image search. They're ridiculous.

Luka said...

Suzanne - I know exactly what you mean. Still at least shoes are easily removed when they become uncomfortable - I am going to find it harder to shift my excess wobbles after my chocolate and alcohol fuck-it-the-world-might-end-so-why-not frenzy?

La BĂȘte - you mean, there'll be black holes *and* strangelets? Cool. As for the lap dancing shoes, yes, that's why people wearing them can't stand up in them and have to wriggle around at lap level, or hang onto convenient poles, that sort of thing.

Ro said...

I understand that we were given the go-ahead for Apocalypse a little early. It seems that the high-speed particle collisions won't actually happen for a while yet - probably somewhere between two and four weeks.

*sigh* can we really party that long? I think I'm getting too old.

Luka said...

Ro - yes, I wish they had explained that before I began my wave of celebratory procrastination.

Ro said...

Perhaps this is one of those challenges that really shows what we're made of. Can we rise to the challenge and manage a whole month's procrastination or will we succomb to the more comfortable choice of Life As Usual?

Luka said...

Ro - I think I *could* procrastinate for a month, but I'll have to sleep on it and let you know tomorrow.

Freddy said...

If hell is a personal thing
then so too is the end of the world
who knows what tomorrow may bring
if all our fears become unfurled

procrastinate, or do it now
does it really matter?
if done, and there's no resultant WOW
then will it leave you flatter?

so leave it, let it rot and wait
don't bother doing owt
don't leave the house don't leave your bed
until it's all too late

Luka said...

Freddy -

This precarious life
Stands on the edge of a knife
And there isn't a safety line
When it finally ends
I hope I am with friends
Or at least a good bottle of wine.