Sunday, 3 August 2008

Tell Me Why

I have been watching with interest the way in which the sex blogging feudal system community has reacted to my assertion that I could never be a sex blogger.

In my preceding post I set out why I, Luka, grumpy old ratbag and unsharing, uncaring harpie, am not about to pimp my passion for hits.

I did not write a post entitled "Why You, Personally, Shouldn't Be a Sex Blogger" yet from some reactions thus far you would think that is exactly what I did. The compulsion to justify, testify, tell me why, has now even spawned a meme.

There will now be a rash of not particularly illuminating "I am a sex blogger because I love writing about sex, me" type posts and it is all my fault.

That said, I am possibly being unfair and maybe I will learn something new.

I have my own theories, of course, on why some sex bloggers post things that I feel would be better kept between lovers, or possibly medical professionals, and I will be watching closely to see if anyone will be brave enough to 'fess up fully.


Helga Hansen said...

Ah, Luka... you stir so well with that wododen spoon of yours! I love to see what delights come simmering to the surface...

I look forward to the meme doing the rounds... thank goodness I'm not a bona fide sex blogger! For a start, I'm not sure blogging about not having sex would be very interesting!

Luka said...

Helga - I like to think I provide a valuable public service.

Anonymous said...

Feudal system is right, my love, grumpy? old? my ass! You maybe one of the most caring, non-grumpy, sharing, caring lovelies I know--and most sex blogs are boring, badly written and not worth the time spent reading them and about as titillating as watching grass grow. Why they post? Insecure narcissism mainly I would think. And the anonymity aids to their feelings of power of which they are lacking IMO.
So darling you keep writing as you wish and we'll enjoy you whatever you choose to write about,

Your as you already know devoted

Curvaceous Dee said...

*chuckle* I have more of a passion for being hit (consensually) than I do for getting them - although my exhibitionistic side does appreciate that as well.

Thank you for the inspiration, you lovely harpy ratbag you!

xx Dee

Luka said...

Beau - you are lovely, you know that don't you? You, of course, take the time to converse with me away from the confines of the Boudoir and so have a more three dimensional viewpoint than some.

Luka said...

Dee - always a pleasure, never a chore x

eclectichedonist said...

I wonder if we should start another meme... "why we're *not* sex bloggers despite indications to the contrary." I've thought about writing up why I blog to the world, but haven't gotten around to it yet.

Personally, I find your blog as sexy or sexier than many of the explicit sex-blogs out there on the net... not that you need my encouragement to continue blogging the way your blog :) Actually, your online persona of self-assurance is probably what I like best about it.

Anonymous said...

Gosh Luka, gee whiz, wow! :-) Thank you honey,\. Big hugs and all the rest that go with them.
Your Beau

Ellie said...

Oh Luka. You know this question has been answered but you know that very few people will admit it.


Anyone that says they are "just writing for themselves" and "don't care what you think" only seems to take that position when they are met with attacks instead of ego stroking.

Britni said...

I think that anyone that blogs about sex, including myself, has some sort of exhibitionist quality to them. Of course, I do love writing about it for myself, as when i write about things I can better understand and clarify them for myself. However, there is always going to be some part of me that enjoys letting other people see that private side of myself.

Like I said before, I'm a little bit of an exhibitionist. And if I did it for the hits, I would post a lot more naked pictures of myself, as that is the only time I seem to get any comments. :)

Anonymous Boxer said...

I blog about boxing.

That's pretty much all I have to say.

Luka said...

Ellie - There is the broad question of "why do people blog?" and then the more specific question I have of "why do some people blog such very intimate material?" I do know the answers (mostly) but I get a kick out of asking.

Britni - hello! Yes, I know what you mean. I post the most fantastic pieces of doggerel, hilarious comic scenarios, and I get the most comments when I put up a crappy out of focus shot of my knees - my *knees* for fucks sake! - on a Thursday.

Anonymous Boxer - you blog good.

Luka said...

Eclectic Hedonist - another meme, you say? I might just be evil enough to do so....

I am genuinely surprised that anyone finds my blog sexy, as I try so hard to be a grumpy, foul mouthed harridan. Thank you for your kind words - they have made my morning. :)

Jackie Adshead said...

Anyone who blogs at all wants the attention (otherwise they'd just write a private diary in a book kept in a secret draw somewhere close to their bed). Anyone who writes a blog about sex wants even more attention. Anyone who writes about graphic sex wants more attention still. So I'm not sure what that says about me as an erotic artist then, if I'm the one that wants to paint it all for the sex bloggers!!!! LOL

Freddy said...

Some do it for attention
Some do it cos they can
Some do it to attract a mate
Some to attract a fan

Some do it well
Some do it bad
Some will go to hell
Some will just go mad

Of all the reasons why they (we) write
The best is to amuse
The worst is to pursue a fight
Or simply to abuse

by the way

your knees, so dimpled, make us smile
We post to let you know that
Your words make us smile as well
But leave us in such awe of your skills that our tongue is taken by the cat!

Luka said...

Jackie - I think it means you want it all :) You want the attention of the primitive part of our brains that loves naughty bits as well as the more developed part that appreciates art.

Freddy - I am afraid I fall into the best and the worst reasons to blog then!

EmmaK said...

I have more or less the same type of sex every time so it would be a bit like a scratched record if I wrote it down on a sblog.

Luka said...

Emma - which is, of course, the same problem most sex bloggers encounter once they are a couple of months into their blog.

Tara Tartly said...

aw, luka, you're so sweet...i just noticed i'm a smart arse here. (and of course, you know, it takes one to know one, love!)

as for your question...i think we all wonder why we're doing this from time to time. and the answer's different every time we ask.

xo, tara

Sulpicia said...

ack. who cares why i blog? my hits have remained fairly low level and steady since my first blog. i get a few comments and sometimes it's from someone who's been through something similar and sometimes it's from someone who calls me on shit. i like that part. getting different perspectives. when i was noted somewhere, the hits suddenly skyrocketed and i did not like that. i like a tight circle and pimping my passion all over the blogosphere isn't really my thing.

that being said, i'm fairly isolated and having blogger friends helps alleviate that feeling.

i don't even consider myself a sex blogger. though it's occupying my mind a lot these days... and so i write about it. and then there are periods where i write about other things.

so why do you do the thursday thing?

trumpeter said...

Ellie's right - it's all about attention. Look at me! I'm getting some!

I worked out a while ago that most blogs are either boasts or whinges. And most 'sex' blogs are extended boasts, sometimes with a bit of faux-musing to disguise it. ("I'm having lots of sex.. but I'm really thoughtful too. And did I mention that I'm having lots of sex?")

Mine, of course, being a prime example.

This also explains why yours is so refreshing.

Luka said...

Tara - smart is good. Yes, the reasons can be flexible, especially where I'm concerned.

Sulpicia - why do I do the Thursday thing? Partly laziness (I do not have to put much effort into a pictorial post)and partly to boost numbers. Though that second bit hasn't worked as I'd hoped. I started off by spoofing HNT then saw just how many comments an HNT post generated. I thought if I wrote something Beautiful and Evocative (tm) or hilarious and posted it with a pic of my big wobbly bosoms then readers would come for the cleavage (ooer) and stay for the humour. But no. They come for the pics and fuck off again for the rest of the week - much the same effect is generated by a damn good Fleshbotting.

Trumpeter - heh. "Boasts or whinges" - that kind of sums up the Boudoir, truth be told :)

Walker said...

I write what i feel for what ever reason i want. Sometimes its sex sometimes its shit.
I don;t think I would write about sex all the time it get bloody boring besaide who the hell has sex that often beisides a hooker ha ha ha

Amy said...

Hello Little Miss Shit Disturber : )

I have three reasons for sex blogging. The main one is to show people that you can have a kinky relationship that is also healthy, loving and romantic. I hate that it took me so long to figure that out, and I don't want other people to have to wait that long.

The second reason is that we documented the start of our relationship. Richard and I occasionally go back to old posts and it's so nice - things we would have forgotten by now can be remembered.

The final reason is that Richard likes exhibitionist women. This is a way I can be like that a) not in person (I'm just not like that) and b) without putting my career at risk.


PS I too wondered why you were doing HNT, but it seemed like a nice way for you to explore new areas. Thanks for explaining.

Luka said...

Walker - I think variety is the key to most things :)

Amy - ah, exhibitionism is a trait I think all bloggers share. Yes, I have been aware my HNT participation can be seen as hypocritical :)