That's what it said on the packaging. "Nude".
The actual shade is akin to all those other variants on the flesh colour theme - tan, bare, natural - in that it is nothing like any human skin tone in existence. It is the kind of colour that an alien might think humans are if they had never actually met one and their only source of reference was a broken television with the colour saturation permanently set to extreme orange. It is much like "flesh" coloured Elastoplasts or hideous surgical appliances that have been rendered a kind of dirty salmon hue in the misguided belief that this makes them less obvious on the body than something in a nice shade of blue or something.
Actually, in these photographs the stockings don't look too bad. They are not the same tone as my lily-white thighs, or more tanned hands, of course, but then again my natural skin doesn't have flowery patterns or a slight gloss sheen either, so maybe I am being too picky.
As you can see my bruise has now entirely faded. I never did know for certain what caused it but I enjoyed Angela-la-la's suggestion a great deal. It involved all my favourite elements - an abused cucumber, alcohol and lard. She therefore wins my special prize of a virtual tiara, bunch of flowers and a bottle of Taboo.
If you've been affected by any of the issues in this blog post you can call Luka's Bruise Hotline or contact my Flesh Tone Support Group. Calls cost 50p a minute and may be monitored for training purposes, or just for a bit of a laugh.