I have known him for over half of my lifetime. We see each other every day.
Yet, at the prospect of some rare time alone together, I was still as excited as I would be at the thought of seeing a long distance lover.
My preparation began in the morning, in the shower. My anticipation continued through my working day. Once he was on en route to me I raced upstairs to change into something wildly impractical and uncomfortable and waited for him, alluringly, among the playthings I had so carefully selected and arranged in advance.
It was worth the time and effort. What transpired upon his arrival in the Boudoir would be worthy of a Fleshbot, Sugasm listing and some sort of award from the Sauce Board for the kind of mind-blowing kinky sex that can be heard from space, if I were the sort to pen such intimate details.
Luckily for you I shall draw a discreet veil over the sticky bits and move straight on to the cosy cuddling up afterwards with a good curry and a DVD.
That's what I call a good night in with the other half.
Do I sound smug? I suppose I might do. There are a lot of sex blogs that wax lyrical about the pleasures of a lover. Tales of hotel room encounters and stolen moments. There is much crowing about capabilities, much strutting and posturing over sexual prowess. There are blogs which feature a different partner in every titillating post. In the Boudoir I like to redress the balance and remind everyone that excitement, passion, creativity and great big duvet dousing orgasms are not the sole domain of the illicit lover.
It takes more effort, of course. You can't just opt out of your responsibilities and bugger off for a bit, while claiming to be at a conference, for example. You have to take care of the mundanities of everyday life in order to clear a space for hedonism and that is sometimes hard work. Of course, that is why it is so much easier not to bother sometimes, lament that something is missing and go looking for an instant fix.
The problem with that, though, is that you still have to return to your real life at some point. A temporary time out doesn't mend whatever is broken at home.
Now, I know kinky sex and curry isn't the answer to all marital difficulties, but I do feel that any sort of effort has got to be beneficial. Some bloggers invest so much in a lover, not just having their affairs, but paying for hotel rooms, gifts, meals and so on, and then writing them up in lurid detail afterwards that I wonder how much equivalent time, money and attention they have left to give at home. But that is the drawback of judging people from what you read on blogs, as what you see is completely one-sided.
I can only try to learn from my own mistakes and be grateful that I am fortunate enough to have a husband who wants to make the effort too.
Update: Since publishing this post I have had an online chat with Mystery Blogger Q who says that I come over as sanctimonious. I would just like to re-iterate that I hold these opinions because of the choices I have made myself, sometimes ill-advised ones. I am not, in this post, "berating" people for having affairs, for that would be hypocritical of me. I am, rather, saying that giving an equal level of care and attention to one's spouse as one would to a lover is a mutually beneficial act that reaps dividends. I've gone on about this before, I know, here and here.