Real Sexy Sex Fleshbot Me Fuck Post

Words were unnecessary. Just a look was all it took to have my thighs opening and my gusset moistening. He was a veritable love god, stood before me, hands on his solid hips, groin jutting forward, proudly displaying his gaudily stained, yet impressively full, Y-fronts.

"Is that a salami in your underpants or are you just pleased to see me?" I bantered, lustily.

"It's a salami."

I laughed.

"No, really. It's this stupid fucking ban on plastic bags in order to save the planet. I didn't have enough cash in the supermarket to buy a re-usuable bag. Or a salami, if I'm honest. So I put in down my trousers and legged it."

God, this wild-eyed, sausage-packing maverick made me wet.

I tore open my blouse, sending buttons pinging across the room.

"Take me now!"

He didn't need telling twice. He flung the salami aside, stepped out of his undercrackers and pushed me down onto the bed.

"Tell me about him," he grunted as he set to with his own peperami.

"Who?" I panted as I gyrated wildly against him.

"Mr Baskum," he gasped.

Ah, yes, of course. This was a well worn fantasy of his. He liked to fuck me while I told him of my bedtime adventures with Mr Baskum, a stuffed penguin toy of mine.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes! Yes! I have thought of nothing else since we last met!"

"Well, I was in bed with Mr Baskum before I came here, to you."

"Did you...?"

"Rub his fuzzy yellow beak all over my face and pretend to feed him a fish? Damn right I did. And I fucking loved it."

His face contorted with what might have been jealousy, or possibly wind. Still, his peperami was feeling more like a full blown salami now so I knew his desires were being met. The kinky fucker.

"Oh god...yes....uh...uh...uh....What were you wearing?"

"Exactly what I'm wearing now."

"The naughty nun habit and a pair of flippers?"

I nodded, seductively, my head bouncing off the headboard as he pounded even harder. He'd bought me those flippers. I wondered how he felt about the thought of me in them, waddling about the bedroom with Mr Baskum, making penguin noises. Yeah, he got off on it all right. He could barely articulate now.

"And did he...did you...at the end....what happened?"

"God, it was incredible."

"Oh my....did Mr Baskum squeeze the salad cream bottle?"

"Fuck yes. It went everywhere. All over my thighs, belly and breasts. Some even hit my chin and dripped off, salad creamily. Dirty, naughty, beaky Mr Baskum."

That was it. I'd pushed him beyond the point of no return.

"Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggg," he cried. And "Nnnnnnnnggggg".

In one swift movement he withdrew and squirted his own organic salad cream all over my chest of drawers.

"Fuck. I missed."

"It's ok darling. It was still impressive. Now pass me that salami."

Edit: To read this sort of thing written seriously (and far better) go here.