Monday, 14 July 2008

Cyber

Some people use the miracle of technology to provide cyber thrills when unable to be with someone in person.

I am no different. I too have found myself alone and bored and in possession of a webcam.

However, I suspect I may be decidedly different to my peers in the way in which I utilise this facility. While others may be writhing around on their bed, sensuously, or typing in an increasingly incoherent stream of "oh gods" and "ooohs" I choose to play the Borg game.

This is where you set up a webcam conversation with your chosen one and then give each other a ludicrously short amount of time to go off camera and reappear as a Borg using only objects you happen to have close at hand.

If you ever tire of sitting before the camera, cock in hand, or legs akimbo I strongly suggest you give it a try. The giddy delight I have from taping a plastic cup and a phone charger to my face and then dashing back to the camera to see my companion has outdone themselves with a penlight and a couple of bulldog clips is incomparable.

I mention this only if any of you should take up an offer to "cyber" with me and are then left confused and disappointed as I go off cam and then return with a camera lens elastic banded to my forehead rather than naked and with a cucumber up my chuff as you may have hoped.

22 comments:

puckrup said...

Just one more fine example as to why you are tho unique and tho shpeshul....oh, the Borg game rocks....:) :) :)

Freddy said...

ahhh but how disappointing it must be to eventually meet and discover that it was indeed a vacuum cleaner hose poking out from his trousers

Helga Hansen said...

Do you play with girls? I'd love to play!!

Ro said...

Oh my ... I'd better start collecting appropriate junk just in case you ever catch me with my cam plugged in!

Anonymous said...

Excuse me whilst I get the Louisville slugger out along with assorted screwdrivers :-)

Wanna play????
Beau

Luka said...

Puckrup - that is why it is so wonderful when I encounter someone as playful as myself :)

Freddy - the vacuum cleaner hose is inspired! I wouldn't be that disappointed. The contents of a man's trousers has little to do with the pleasure he can give me.

Helga - I adore playing with girls. Get your cyber gear ready!

Ro - seeing how inventive you can be each week on Half Nekkid Thursday I am quite sure you would be a wonderful Borg player.

Beau - I always wanna play with you!

Anonymous said...

Yummy, Luka--Whenever you're ready girl. :-) I'm all primed.

Beau

Sulpicia said...

I can't stop laughing! Shit. Thank you, as usual.

bittersweet said...

fancy a road trip? we could have so much fun!!!!!

Luka said...

Beau - I'm ready, I'm ready!

Sulpicia - I adore that I can make you laugh. Thank *you*.

Bittersweet - get the engine running, I'll be right there! x

Anonymous Boxer said...

bwahahahahahahahah.

Robyn said...

OMG! This is the funniest shit I have read in a long time...LMAO!
Thanks for making my mouth hurt and gut feel like its going to explode...I really needed that good laugh! SHIT that was freak'n funny!
Hugs,
Robyn

Luka said...

Anonymous Boxer - I knew you'd like this concept.

Robyn - hello! I am always happy to incapacitate another through the medium of laughter :) Thanks!

nursemyra said...

you make penlights and bulldog clips sound very sexy indeed

Luka said...

Nurse Myra - but penlights and bulldog clips *are* sexy! :)

trumpeter said...

Penlights and bulldog clips.. phwoarrrr!

Walker said...

I tried cyber sex but I had to stop because it hurt to much and the curve was gertting more pronouced from poking the screen to much.
I even tried two web cams on each computer but I found that I didn;t appeal to myself so now I have to resort to looking for live action

Luka said...

Trumpeter - absolutely! Stationery can be sexy!

Walker - it doesn't half make the keyboard sticky too.

Clint said...

I normally read a blog and get to know it a little but wow... Humour and sex, killer combo. Oh, you owe me a keyboard too, this one's got coffee dripping out of it now.

Luka said...

Clint - hello! I am glad you like my silly sex combo. Perhaps some sort of keyboard condom is the answer...

Clint said...

Ah, great idea..

Keyboard condoms for sex bloggers and their readers, they could become the next great thing. I can see it now, a whole range of them, flavoured, ribbed for extra sensation, all different colours.

Want to become a dot com millionaire with me?

Luka said...

Clint - yes.