So, a year of barbs.
It's been a fascinating and abuse-filled twelve months.
In my very first post I explained why most sex blogs are crap. Looking back over a year of discourse and drama I can now say, with the benefit and wisdom twelve months of enhanced understanding brings, that most sex blogs are still unmitigated crap and everything I wrote then was incisive, brilliantly well observed and holds true today. Indeed the points I made then are now being espoused on other, more literate, blogs. That's how influential I am. Eventually everyone realises I was right all along.
Over the following months I went on to take a swipe at Sugasm with my hilarious Shitasms, had a pop at Fleshbot (WobbleArse/Wank Week Wound-Up), was rude about memes, ran a series of HMT (Half Mental Thursday) HNT rip-offs and posted numerous Fun Quizzes.
Despite my varied mix of topics and targets the search engine enquiry that brings more readers to the Boudoir than any other is still that for figging.
My uncontrolled glee at discovering this practice, with accompanying pictures, led to Blog Drama of unprecedented proportions. I still fail to see how me saying that putting something up your arse, photographing it, and posting it on the net is a funny thing to do is somehow more damaging to one's reputation than putting something up your arse, photographing it, and posting it on the net in the first place, but that might be because I am cursed with an annoyingly inarguable sense of perspective. And reality.
I then turned my attentions to the more literary school of blogging and pointed and laughed at that for a bit. This incomprehensible, narcissistic school of sex blogging is still alive and well and looking, dewy-eyed, into its own legume-plugged arsehole as I type. Endless posts on "why I blog", "why I am not like ordinary people", "conversations between my split personalities or with lovers who are not there", "observations on my cunt" and "words people use to describe me" (um... "self" and "obsessed" spring to mind) abound. I am very fond of these. They give me the most pleasure and are the most fun to lampoon.
I have posted about smelly people (which caused Blog Drama), being respectful of your spouse (which caused Blog Drama), online appeals, both for charity and for oneself (which caused Blog Drama) and then, who knows what gave me the idea, about Blog Drama.
I have been added to and removed from blogrolls more times than I can keep up with.
But it's the doggerel I love the most. A bit of jaunty, bouncy, bumpalong rhyming to let you see what is thrumming through my mind at any given moment in time. I never plan them. I never draft them. I sit down and bang them out in a matter of minutes. They are immediate and rough and unpolished. They don't get as many comments as me getting my cleavage out, but what can you do? People like bosoms. That's why you don't have Page 3 Poets or Ditty Bars.
So, here I am a year later posting my own wobbly bits in HNT each week and getting Fleshbotted. It's almost like the end of Animal Farm (the George Orwell novel, not the porno flick where someone fucks a pig.)
Those who say "but Luka, you used to mock these things mercilessly and now you are buying into the system" are correct. To a point. I comfort myself with the thought the the self-proclaimed elite of the sex blogging community still don't really get what I'm about and won't dirty their cum sticky fingers with typing comments to the Boudoir. Not when they are so busy giving each other awards and blowjobs and then posting about it and then winning an award for their blogger blowjob post. So I will never be truly assimilated. I am too wanky and annoying.
Plus I have the best commenters online. I am lucky enough to have people who will let me know if I start believing the hype and start down the rocky road to hits fever and total tosserhood.
Thanks, you guys. I know that every time you tell me I'm a twat, it's with love. At this rate I must be the most loved blogger online.