Monday, 30 June 2008

Role: Not Applicable

I don't fit into a role. I have traits, but none that I want to define me.

There are those that assume I must be Dominant, and I am.

There are those that assume I have a submissive side, and I do.

There are those who think this puts a tick in the "switch" box, but it doesn't.

I just don't care enough about these things to put in the effort required to fill the position.

When arsing around on a site like Fet Life, for example, people can expect too much of you if they assume you to be Dominant. "Tell me what you want to do to me," is a variation on a familiar cry. Well, nothing, really. Maybe send you down the shops for a Cornetto, do a bit of dusting. I dont know you well enough to have any strong feelings one way or another. What I can tell you though is that I'm not going to spew forth an erotic fetish fantasy on demand. I'm not a fucking freebie equivalent of rent-a-wank. Honestly.

But then again, I dislike the Dominant approach too, when the opposite assumption is made. When someone I don't know gives me their "approval" and tries to be all masterful. Fuck off.

I suppose the point is that there are still so many people who are not prepared to put in any effort with regards to getting to know someone. They have a fantasy and all they want to do is project it onto a willing blank canvas somewhere. "Ah," they think, "you have spiked heels! You'll do. Tell me how you want to walk all over me in those shoes, how you want me to lick them clean and then how you'll make me wear your knickers under my suit when we go to the library."

But that is their fantasy, not mine. They don't know mine because they haven't asked. Which is a shame, as it's really rather good.

24 comments:

Helga Hansen said...

~Cranks up stereo~

"I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want..."

I've been told a woman with secrets is so much more desirable! I know I have been labeled "enigmatic" for the very same reason!!

Anonymous said...

A woman with secrets is more desirable? Oh my yes indeed :-)

Beau

Anonymous said...

BTW Luka, you may use me freely in any fantasy you can dream up :-)I am ready, more than willing, and still very able. lol

Oooo for a sexy dream from you
Beau

Ro said...

I'm not sure being enigmatic makes someone more desirable per se ... more infuriating sometimes, yes ;^)

So, I should ask you what your fantasy is then, Luka? I'll bite: what exactly is your fantasy? :)

Freddy said...

Oh Luka, we care
Oh Luka, please share
We'd really like to hear it

Oh Luka, do tell ...........
Oh wow! Bluddy hell!
Disgusting doesn't come near it!

Your place or mine?

Walker said...

The fantasy is living your true life instead of the one we all put out there for others to see.

bittersweet said...

a partner who takes the time to draw out the hidden fantasy has a rare and precious talent - and especially rare on even the most entertaining of social networks.

What happened to 'getting to know you' first? I find myself under a great deal of pressure to put out expressions of commitment (to meet etc), to prove i am serious about playing, with only the most superficial of exchanges. It is very frustrating.

bittersweet said...

oh - and i liked Walker's comment.

Luka said...

Helga - I am all for keeping some things private. I do share as I get to know people, but why there is this assumption that I will spill all to complete strangers just to feed their libido is a mystery.

Beau - *any* fantasy? You sure?

Ro - it is a baroque fantasy of velvet and satin, perfume and fire, high passion and running through the forest at midnight. I may write it up sometime.

Freddy - careful, or you will peak too soon!

Walker - that is uncanny. I just read something almost identical in the book I am currently reading. I agree.

Bittersweet - oh, I hate that. That whole "prove you're serious" mindset is such a pile of manipulative, shallow wankery. Thank fuck everyone knows I am never serious.

Anonymous said...

Any fantasy and I'm totally sure, Luka, Darlin'.


Beau

Ro said...

Oh my! It's been a while since I've worn velvet or satin ...

Anonymous Boxer said...

I always like Walker's comments too.

Jackie Adshead said...

Which just goes to prove my point that we have sex with our heads - and if your brain's not raring to go, neither will anything else be for any lasting satisfaction!

Luka said...

Beau - well, don't say you weren't warned :)

Ro - I am a big fan of the sumptuous.

Anonymous Boxer - he's a delight, isn't he?

Jackie - quite so!

Midnight said...

Sounds like you are hunting on barren lands. If you ask me, you won't find the kind of prey you are looking for there. But then you didn't ask me so I'll shut up.

Luka said...

Midnight - I think you are spot on. And don't you dare shut up!

Anonymous said...

Luka, darlin' I throw warnings out the window--

love
Beau

Being Frankie said...

That has just made me realise that no one has ever actually listened to what i want, they just automatically thought they knew. I, shamefully, never thought i had the option to protest.

Luka said...

Frankie - we live and learn, that's the main thing. I've gone with the path of least resistance myself in my time, but now I know I deserve to get what I want - what I need - from time to time as well.

Freddy said...

Luka - it's that 'get what I want, *from time to time* that makes all the difference...
Life and love (and lust) are about give and take

Luka said...

Freddy - absolutely, couldn't agree more!

Suzanne Portnoy said...

I love this post. I remember once a man turning up with rope, a dildo, a blindfold and all sorts of other accessories because I said I liked a dominant man. We had never met before. I laughed and told him to put them all away, which he did. Dominant, my ass!

Luka said...

Suzanne - well, quite! Assumptions are endemic in such situations. Give me genuine spontaneity, a truly original and creative mind over a bag of equipment and a timetabled tick list any day.

puckrup said...

One thing I have discovered about you, dear lady, is that you are far too complex and fascinating and witty to be defined by any label. Thank the gods!