Tuesday, 17 June 2008

Pre-Meet Preparation


  • Get up an hour earlier than usual.
  • Shower
  • Wash and condition hair.
  • Exfoliate.
  • Shave off all body hair, including bum crack and big toes.
  • Smother self with moisturiser.
  • Apply product and style hair.
  • Brush teeth.
  • Floss
  • Gargle with mouthwash.
  • Apply deodorant.
  • Spritz perfume.
  • Carefully select outfit.
  • Contort self getting sexy underwear in place.
  • Pluck eyebrows.
  • Insert contact lenses.
  • Apply make-up.
  • Put on high heeled shoes.
  • Ponce about in front of mirror for ages, looking at body from every conceivable angle.
  • Change outfit.
  • Choose coat to wear.
  • Change shoes to match coat.
  • Transfer all items from usual bag into bag that matches shoes and coat.
  • Leave house.


  • Get up.
  • Get dressed.
  • Get out.


Helga Hansen said...

Lol... so true. All that for a cuppa tea, eh? ;)

Anonymous said...

lololol true true--throw on me jeans, and me T shirt and I'm ready for the day--oops forgot: roll a doobie ;-)

love Beau

Trixie said...

You forgot to mention 'has a dump' between that.

Anonymous Boxer said...

ahahaha - but you know what? Aside from the shaving of the butt crack, I kinda like primping and think men miss out on the ritual.

That said, I remember a date showed up one night after I had done all of that work and within MINUTES it was destroyed.

At least I could have gotten a glass of wine first.


Anonymous said...

Boxer--when if all spiffied up, suit tie and the whole shebang I primp if that's the right word in front of the mirror-taking my time shaving, putting on the moisturiser--oh yes i so that every time I shave--just my face not me permanent vertical smile i shave that is lol I get the tie knot just so, the dress shirt tucked in just right--shine me shoes etc.. So yeah us'n mens do that too just not as obsessively as y'all do. Maybe obsessive is too strong a word ??? So that's me primpin' for what it's worth--oh yes and comb me flowing locks too.

Walker said...

I can live with that LOL

Just Bob said...

Hey, you forgot the S-S-S of all men.

Anonymous said...

Bob me ole trout, how can one forget ever the holy three?

Helga Hansen said...

Oh, even I know that one... "shit, shave and shampoo"... or something like that! :)

Just Bob said...

Ding, ding, ding... you got it right Helga!

Ro said...

I always thought of it as "shit, shave and shower".

To think that I used to be able to get away with just S&S ... that middle S really chomps up the minutes. Thank goodness the significant other likes the rugged, stubbly look!

Now, if only I can get my employers to agree with her ...

Anonymous said...

Actually i think I first heard it as : shit, shave, shower, shine. or words to that effect.


Anonymous Boxer said...

Beau - see? It's different because the 3-S's are SIMPLE, but I'm glad to know there is SOME preparation done by men.... and where's our fair Luka?

Hmmmmmm... :-)

Brian said...

Differences in showering ritual

Anonymous said...

Boxer: visited you site--I'm in Tacoma so stop by the Parkway pub in the Stadium district and I'll by you a few--any one will direct you here--I live next door--The Beau picks his Apts carefully. ;-)

Anonymous said...



Luka said...

I've been busy with Real Life (tm) but I have enjoyed reading the debate on the poopy element of the male part of preparation.

Personally, I like these differences between the sexes in such matters. It feels right and as it should be. I would never trust a man who spent longer in the bathroom than me.

Anonymous said...

Luka: but what about reading? Where else for peace and quiet and reading lol


TK Kerouac said...

no wonder its so stressful just getting out the door.

Facts and Friction said...

You cheeky little thing you!

Hmmm I definitely put a lot more effort in than that, obviously never quite the same, but there is moisturising, trimming and/or shaving from the kneecaps up and selection of clothes and a hint of of a suitable scent. I do like planning things though. Part of the fun is putting on nice underwear, feeling it cling to your body, getting ready and just letting the anticipation build up and up...

I'm might blog about how I get prepared one day in response to this post and this one too.

Luka said...

Beau - the lavatory is not a library (she said, primly).

TK - I am amazed any of us ever manage to emerge looking as cool, calm and collected as we do.

Facts and Friction - hello! You are right, of course, many men do like to preen and pamper a tad more than I gave them credit for in this post. And yes, anticipation is...........