Saturday, 24 May 2008

Class Wars

"She read your fun quiz," read the text appearing in my chat box window. "And her comment was 'lots of style but no class'".

Which tickled me, as that is typical of sex blogger double standards.

Selecting a dozen sex blogs at random, to assess their classiness, I attempted to try to get this "class" issue straight in my own mind. After all, much like the sex bloggers, I tend to write about the various twats and cunts I have encountered. What's the difference?

It would appear that it is ok to write about people you have sex with, often without their knowledge or permission, and give away the most intimate details of their anatomy, preferences, skill, quirks, kinks, passions and private life.

To post pictures of your own orifices stuffed with household items is both interesting and informative. It's sexually empowering or something. Posting pictures of other people's naughty bits proves you are a sex deity and is to be encouraged.

Lurid descriptions of your sweaty body, spunk-spiked hair, soggy undies and gushing bodily fluids just exude class. Boastful write-ups of adultery, glorifying the lover and vilifying the spouse, gilding and glossing until one can barely recognise the tawdry tumble in a Travelodge it truly was, these are more than acceptable, these are award winning.

But to write about what one finds annoying or silly, and why, that lacks class.


So, if I write about what I find silly or annoying but added that by doing so it made me come and then posted a pic of a courgette up my ringpiece, would I gain that unique brand of sex blogger classiness? Or would it still take the edge off the mindless wanking by adding an undesirable element of reality and thought, thereby forever to remain in the virtual gutter, sullying your monitor with its hurtful truths?


Helga Hansen said...

No... no class is when you're getting feedback "third-hand".

What is it these days when people can't just be up-front themselves. Why tell someone else you think something lacks class/is crap/a load of tosh. Why not be adult enough and tell 'em yourself?!?

Perhaps your critic should stop reading your blog...

Anonymous said...

Very few sex blogs have "class"--usually they're just plain
boring, joyless and not worth a look or a boink. I like a lot of style, literary style when I read porn, not just the old in-out let's fuck babe basic crap writing. I like humor and sex can be very funny actually and it shows the blogger has not only a sense of warped humor but real grasp of the surreal. So bloggers get with it and write well. Your audience will find it titillating and fun.

Anonymous said...

This is as blatant a straw man argument as I've seen in ages. You can point out the faults of others to your heart's content, but it doesn't alter the fact that going back over long-forgotten - and supposedly resolved - grievances, and resurrecting them in public in order to score a few cheap points isn't classy. It's deeply tacky, and in the context of the post in question, run through with double standards and a severe shortage of grace. The accusation stands, I'm afraid. It's a good thing some of us can't be arsed to respond in kind - I'm sure most of your adoring audience is unaware of the full story.

Incidently, I'm sure I can't be the only one of your readers to notice that by your own definition, certain parts of your own blogroll are severely lacking in "class". Is this a cue for a rethink? Or is it all part of that "sisterhood" thing you tried lecturing me about once in order to justify something sordid you'd been involved with?

(Oh, and I'm anonymous because if you don't already know who I am, you don't need to. Helga: I'll stop reading when the bullying stops. I've tried ignoring. It's got worse. Go figure. My theory, FWIW, is that it's the sycophancy that keeps it all going. I wonder how long this comment stays up.)

Luka said...

Helga - quite so. I get a lot of "and so-and-so says this about you, and they call you names" which is basically a way of getting in a few free kicks when the gleeful passer-on of such choice titbits hasn't the balls to tell me direct that I'm a twat. Trouble is I am a petulant brat, it's all true, and I never keep the passed on insults to myself. I flag them up in the hope this practice will cease.

Beau - exactly! There are some excellent blogs out there that do just that and they are the ones that have longevity.

Luka said...

Anonymous -

The point that you have missed throughout, I'm afraid, is that I have never aspired to be accepted as "classy" by you or any of your chums. I have been sat here in my Boudoir, being abusive and flicking the Vs at everyone for the best part of a year now. You'd think you'd have twigged I'm not going for the popularity vote by now.

If a certain anonymous someone decides to pass on unpleasant information on behalf of shadowy others what are the odds that I'll say "oh, really? God, I care so desperately what they think. I shall change my ways immediately! I shall delete my blog and start one about kittens!" as opposed to me blogging about it and pointing out it's all a bit wanky? I would guess even the most casual passerby would bet on the correct outcome of that scenario.

As for my blogroll and the sisterhood, I'll have you know there is nothing sordid about our secret society of dildo-wielding lesbians.

Anonymous said...

Luka: lol You're right--the wanker just doesn't get it! Sycophancy lol
Just ignore the idiots, Luka, darlin'


Anonymous said...

Beau: When you know the full story - and we're talking something that goes back years here - then you can judge whether or not I "get it". Until then, I suggest butting out and desisting from the ad hominem attacks. That's the true mark of a wanker.

Luka: If you really want to do this sort of thing properly, why not try the pub car park at closing time? It would be more dignified ...

Anonymous said...

Pub car park is fine with me asshole--


Anonymous said...

Well, that's told me. Such sparkling wit. However, it's none of your business. Go away.

Anonymous said...

Go away yourself, dude--and stick it while you're at it. Amount of wit I saw in your post was nil--more attack that anything else. You've got all the class of a a typical newt. Piss off.


Anonymous said...

Beau, mate, you really have no idea what you're talking about. I'm actually embarrassed for you.

Brian said...

Without knowing 'the full story' can I just say Amen to pointing out the hypocrisy?
Oh and 'anon' Telling people to mind their own business while posting about it on a public forum that invites comment is another double standard. Muppet.
If you want to gain some 'classy' higher ground why not shut up about it or fill us in and let's see who is or isn't being really classy.
Enough of the teenage bitching.


Anonymous said...

Brian: Exactly. Thank you. You've made my point perfectly. This has no place in a pubic forum. However, I'm not the one who's been bitching about it, here, in, as you say, a teenage fashion, for months now. This is merely the first time I've commented on it, rather than take it lying down.

Who's is the double standard here? Take your time ...

Anonymous Boxer said...

Oh look, more Blog Drama!

Luka! In your corner, ALWAYS.

Your Fan,


Luka said...

Anonymous - If you don't like to read about behaviour that makes you feel apoplectic because you feel it applies to you then I would suggest not indulging in that sort of behaviour. Or, if you truly can't resist needling me via fake personas or by passing on other people's unpleasant comments and private correspondence, then I would avoid visiting the Boudoir where my public denigration of such behaviour may cause an apoplectic reaction.

Luka said...

Word of The Day - apoplectic.

I like it.

Luka said...

Brian - well, that was the primary drive behind the Boudoir in the first place, my desire to point out the silliness and double standards I found myself encountering online.

They still exist, of course, but now I have a forum to moan about it. People tend to have a strong reaction to my opinions, which is no bad thing, I like a bit of debate. But yes, this has degenerated into bitching and I shall be posting something to redress the balance soon.

Luka said...

Anonymous Boxer - you ROCK! x

Midnight said...

Ooh handbags at dawn!

Luka said...

Midnight - there'll be tears before bedtime.

Ro said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MonMouth said...

Dear Ms. Luka,

I write to you with an exciting exclusive offer: The CLASSIOMETER, a patented device sold exclusively in the UK and throughout the world by MonCo Inc.

Approximately the size of a fat thumb, the Classiometer is extremely simple to operate: Apply a small amount of lubricant, place the Classiometer up your bottom and go about your daily business as normal. When you meet a classy person, the Classiometer will begin to vibrate - the classier the person, the more intense the vibration.

It also comes with a handy remote control, in case you just want the vibration and no one sufficiently classy can be located.

Sincerely yours,

Mon K. Mouth,
sales force enthusiast

MonCo Inc.
UK division

Anonymous said...


Ro said...

Oh my goodness me! I turn my back for a couple of days and what happens? War breaks out!

Cause and effect? I certainly hope not or I'm never going to dare to leave my PC again.

All I'd like to say, really, is that there's nothing wrong with posts about kittens and although it may or may not fit any standard definition of "classy" I, for one, would be very amused to see a pic of a courgette up your ringpiece ;^)

And may you all have a very happy rest of weekend :D

Luka said...

Monmouth - Please rush me my Classiometer by return of post.I understand that if I am not fully satisfied I probably need to relocate to a classier area. I am over 18.

Ro - yes, this is all your fault. Think on.

And be careful what you wish for :)

Freddy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Freddy said...

'lots of style but no class'"
That's a compliment right?

If ever I start blogging again, that will be the title!

I'd say that anyone with the history that our dear anon has shouldn't be accusing others of lacking class - even by proxy.

Walker said...

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I missed all the damn fun.
What's class, i don;t know what that is but I do know what respect is.

Judging people for what "the judge" perseves as a fault is not a fault of that perso but that of the judge and putting up personnal info about someones anything is disrespectful.
That said, if you postsomething for the public to read then be ready for Luka to come by and comment.

If Beau can't make it to the car park I will be more than happy to step in his place and I AM an asshole so he doesn't have to call me one. HA HA HA!!!!!!!

Luka said...

Freddy - you *should* start blogging again, you really should.

Walker - see what you miss when you take a day or two out of blogland?