Sunday, 27 April 2008

Pubic Ponderings

A shaven haven is a high maintenance minge. Once you start it is a demanding task. You have to go through the whole grooming routine every other day or so or have a chuff you can strike matches on.

I did try it for a while. But, fuckola, it's not easy, is it? I mean, it's not exactly an easy area to shave. It's like trying to mow the lawn without leaving the house. You have to position yourself awkwardly and you'll miss quite a bit.

Frankly, I have been unimpressed with the results even when I have persevered in my endeavours. It looks good for about 10 minutes, then the stubble reappears, the itching starts and ingrown hairs develop. This happens whatever technique is used, no matter how much I exfoliate and despite the various creams and lotions I slather on. It is not a good look.

Those who are not a fan of the denuded cunt often cite the fact that it is pandering to an unconscious desire to look uncomfortably young. I wouldn't go quite that far. In my experience it bears far more resemblance to the face of acne-ridden pubescent. Quite how that is preferable to a big old hairy muff beats me, so I have tossed the razor into the bin.

How are you supposed to reach all the hair around your arse anyway?

34 comments:

Angela-la-la said...

Ah, Luka. The woman that says what all the others would think if they weren't too busy Bic-ing their bum hair in the bathroom.

Personally I Veet the edges and trim the length for a happy medium in minge-fringe.

StMarc said...

In my opinion, a shaven adult female's adventureland doesn't look much more like a little girl's forbidden area than a shaven man's face looks like that of a boy.

From now on anyone who questions the predilection for maturity in a partner of a man who prefers the area cleared for easy navigation and access shall be asked if their man has a full and luxurious beard. Upon the answer "no," a sniff and a muttered "cradle-robber" shall be the appropriate response.

M

Tom Allen said...

I shave my own wabbly bits several times a week in the shower. After a while you get used to it. Me, I've been doing this on and off since college. Even when I don't shave, it's usually trimmed very short.

But yeah, if I let it go for more than a couple of days... dang, it's just like sticking steel wool down my shorts.

Anonymous said...

Personally I love a woman with a full "growth"--tickles me nose when "adventuring" lol As long as it doesn't grow down to her knees lmao

Cate said...

I think waxing or laser removal is really the only option if you want to keep it bare all the time. I tried shaving it off recently and as you remarked, it doesn't take long for it to get ugly. But the thought of hot wax that close to such a delicate area makes me wince. The bikini line is painful enough, can't imagine what the inner area would feel like - Ouch!!!!

Cate xxx

bittersweet said...

The shaving maintenance *is* crippling .. and then someone mentions that they like a little softness, and you wonder why you ever bothered .. i now have a very personal bonsai (the shape varies according to mood).

Luka said...

Angela-la-la - now I never find Veet does the job. I must have super resistant hair or something. It's the clippers for me.

St Marc - hello! You raise a very good point. And thinking about it, the same accusation of attempting to look prepubescent could be applied to shaving off any body hair, in the armpits and on the legs, for example.

Tom - how do you avoid the curse of the ingrowns?

Anonymous - good man, that's the spirit!

Cate - it takes a hardy soul to go for the waxing. And you have to avoid certain times of the month or it hurts even more. Ouch indeed!

Bittersweet - I love the concept of a personal bonsai! I must attempt that myself, maybe a leaping dolphin or something.

Southern Sage said...

Well I'm oppo of anon, I don't care if it is from her belly butto to her knees as long as it isn't braid-able!

Helga Hansen said...

I agree with the shaving thing, although I do enjoy having less hair there... I can feel more, when my man is muff-munching. I'd like to not have to shave, but I can't use Veet as my skin is too sensitive, and while it's enjoyable having a champagne generated tingle, a Veet tingle is agony!

But, I can also go with the whole getting a quiff for your quim! Not sure about underarms and legs though!

EmmaK said...

How to shave the hair down by your arse? Well there is no need to rig up a complex system of mirrors, you basically just feel your way. I mean I don't look at what I'm doing back there, I just kind of shave blind. Why I haven't nicked off my clit with this foolhardy approach I am not sure, I expect my razors aren't sharp enough!

Luka said...

Southern Sage - how about bunches?

Helga - oh, yes, there is a world of difference between a champagne tingle and chemical burns! I am going to trim mine into the shape of my favourite blogger.

Emma - I am too scared to wield the blade blindly around my ringpiece. Where's Edward Scissorhands when you need him?

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm a nose in the bush is worth two in the hand? Yup! Why trim? don't really see that point unless you're on a French nude beach and then noone there would give a damn anyhow. Natural is best IMO. on my yes

Beau

Anonymous said...

AS for shaving--let your lover do it.
That can lead to many entertaining times and progressions :-)

Beau

Anonymous Boxer said...

When I was young, I shaved EVERYTHING and I can tell you the exact place I was standing (in public) when it all started itching. Never again - I've adopted Angela-la-la's routine and when I even think of waxing/etc., I remember that night (at a bookstore) when I was hiding behind stacks of books trying to itch/scratch.

Luka said...

Beau - the only way I could de-fuzz at the moment is with the help of a dextrous assistant, and I don't think my physio is up for that.

Anonymous Boxer - oh yes, the itchies are so unpleasant. A stubbly crotch shreds bog paper too, and that's not a good look either.

Anonymous said...

Luka, come see me and I'm up for it--in more ways than one :-)

Beau

Luka said...

Beau - do you have a steady hand?

Anonymous said...

Luka darlin' you bet your sweet bippy I do lol very steady and I've done it before many times. And aterwards the real fun begins--oh my yessiree.
:-)

Beau

Vi said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Dammit, I never thoguht about shaving my arse!

daisyfae said...

agree that shaving stubble was maddening - and taking a hairbrush to it to quench the itch wasn't a good plan. especially in the grocery store.

after my first wax (brazilan) it got easier - and if you keep up with it, the hairs soften. no stubble - it starts to grow back in a few weeks, but it's fine and soft. for me, a wax every 6 weeks does the trick!

Ro said...

I'm easy on the whole hair/no-hair thing though I will freely admit to a certain fascination with the pleasures afforded by the smoothness of the freshly-shaved ... there's a certain level of sensitivity that hair simply masks.

That said, I find shaving myself down there a bit of a pain. The Beloved definitely prefers me hairless and I do (usually) try to oblige but it's made me realise I have one new ambition: to get laser hair removal!

Freddy said...

Well thanks for reminding me that I absolutely have to cut the lawns this weekend!

Anonymous said...

Freddy roflmao

Beau

Ariel said...

Well, you must have been using the wrong kind of razor. Cheap disposables won't do, you need something with 3 or 4 blades and practice. It really does make perfect. As for the shaving frequency, well, if you don't live with anyone and don't see anyone on a daily basis, you can let your minge sport the rough look for a few days. As for the arse question, yes, absolutely. Who wants a goatee on the arse? I have now revealed far more about myself than I ever intended to but there you go, that's the beauty of the internet. I blog anonymously but people now know what my minge looks like.

Ariel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Helga Hansen said...

Has anyone heard about bleaching? I've heard mention of people who bleach their hairy bits, front and back... ouch! Brings new meaning to "gonna wash that grey right out of my hair"!!

bittersweet said...

helga - there is anal bleaching for the skin, rather than hair, to give the impression of pale skin perfection in the crevises *shudder*

Ro said...

I have some Domestos in the bathroom if anyone's interested ...

Walker said...

This is nothign wromg with being a little wild and wooly

Helga Hansen said...

~Shocked~ What???? Why on earth would I want to bleach my skin down there?? Okay, so I've not actually seen how light/dark it is there (I shall question one who has in the morning), but that just blows me away. Ro... keep your bleach for the loo... I think that is the best place for it!

Anonymous said...

Bleaching! Holy shit--what if you slip? gads I don't really want to think about that. I'm with wild and woolly myself.

Beau

Luka said...

Beau - then I shall make an appointment.

Vi - you'll think about it now though! Do not do it after drinking is my sage advice.

Daisyfae - oh, but hairbrush bristles would feel so good! I have heard good things about wax.

Ro - it's a slow process though, the laser thing. Though at least it is permanent, I believe.

Freddy - just think how sensuous they will feel against your face afterwards.

Ariel - that's just it! I used all sorts of different razors, and fancy schmancy ones too! The results are great for the first few hours then the same old same old - a flange like Desperate Dan's chin.

Helga - yes, as Bittersweet mentions, some people do bleach their chocolare starfish.

Ro - I think you should keep it there!

Walker - quite so, makes it more of a jungle adventure.

Helga & Beau - blame the porn industry - dark skin, big flaps and body hair are just not in fashion.

Fat Controller said...

'Big old hairy muff' does it for me every time!

Luka said...

Fat Controller - hello! Yes, I am rather fond of it myself :)