Sunday, 13 April 2008

Lucre for Luka

Here is what I'm like: fantastic, obviously, and superior to drab, lesser mortals in just about every way.

I am stubborn, strong willed, intensely private and terribly proud. Unfortunately my strong willed, stubbornly proud, yet strangely not smug at all, spirit has led me to run up a bit of a tab at Mr McNobby's corner shop. I'm far too stubborn and proud to ask my friends to lend me money, and the bank won't give me any, because I'll only spend it all on pork pies and scratch cards again. Fortunately my blogging chums are rallying round and are busy setting up a paypal button to go on my blog. I don't think anyone should have to pay for the privilege of reading my barbs or, indeed, to help me finance my stubbornly proud bohemian lifestyle, but I'll take the cash anyway.

In the meantime, do take a look at my friends blogs. The soft hearted lot have launched an appeal for me. They know I am too proud and strong willed to do so myself. It's called "Butts for Bucks! Ass for Cash!" and the premise is that when we reach the £25 mark they will all post pictures of their arses. It's an incentive. No, really it is. I know you've seen their bits before, for free, every HNT, but this will be different. It'll be from a new angle. Or something. Oh, just click the damn button.

Appeal Update: so far we've raised 3 foreign coins, a button and a bottle top! That's fantastic! I am deeply moved by the generosity of my fellow bloggers and would like to reiterate that it is all for a very good cause and not just to buy pork pies and scratch cards.

34 comments:

Helga Hansen said...

Can I have this ringside seat? I do so love a good bout!

Helga Hansen said...

Oh, I meant to say "butt"... silly me!!

Luka said...

Helga - ok, but the best seats cost more buttons.

Anonymous Boxer said...

Did someone say "ringside seats" and "bout"?

Hellooooo......

I have buttons! And I think pork pies and scratch tickets are a fine use of your WELL earned coin.

Ms Robinson said...

I have already shown my arse. Will chocolate buttons do? The large ones.

Luka said...

Anonymous Boxer - well, every button donated is another step nearer to A-Day!

Ms R - and a fine spectacle it was. I am more than happy to accept chocolate buttons, as long as they haven't been in your pocket too long. Actually, I'm lying, I'd accept them anyway,

Helga Hansen said...

I have plenty of buttons. I use blingy-type ones to decorate bracelets with. Will they do?

Luka said...

Helga - do they have a monetary value? I mean, don't get me wrong, the buttons are good, but Mr McNobby does need some hard cash at some point...

Flowering Jasmine said...

I had a rummage down the back of the setee and found a yellow counter from Connect Four. Will that do? x

Luka said...

Jasmine - chuck in a toffee (preferably non hairy) and we'll call it a deal.

Helga Hansen said...

Luka... of course they have a monetary value... they're Swarovski Crystal buttons... not cheap!

I don't do cheap... my clientele know I am not akin to Claire's Accessories, after all! How is the total coming along so far? Are we nearing the 25 quid mark yet? I need to go and ferret around for some knickers...

Luka said...

Helga - since you have posh buttons and can add class to the ass(fest) you can drop a few more in the donation tin!

As for the total update - I am nearer reaching 25 buttons than 25 quid. My readers are a tight bunch, I have to say.

oatmeal girl said...

We're a tight-ASSED bunch, as you will all see when you toss in more buttons. Personally, I am willing to pose with daffodils sprouting out of my butt once we reach 25 buttons. I'm all for exposing myself, and it's much easier to offer up my ass than to toss in my buttons.

Butt On!!

Luka said...

Oatmeal Girl - "Butt On!" had me in stitches! Love it!

Well, the 25 button mark approaches, so I shall be out picking the daffs shortly. I still need the cash though. Mr McNobby has made it quite clear that I can't buy any more white lighting or pot noodles until I clear my tab.

oatmeal girl said...

Yes, you will indeed have to supply the daffs, as all of mine were the victims of a blow job Friday night and lost their heads.

Luka said...

Oatmeal Girl - that's a powerful blow job! As you're supplying the receptacle it's only fair I should supply the blooms. They'll be picked from the hedgerow, mind, the flower shop won't accept buttons.

Freddy said...

You sell out whore!
How dare you diminish the integrity of bloggers everywhere with you cheap attempt to get donations from your readers.
Next you'll be plugging your book and appearing on TV chat shows pretending it was all real.


did i miss a joke?

Walker said...

I'm more of a boob guy but butts can be fun to

Luka said...

Freddy - my not for pork pies and more scratch cards appeal is no laughing matter, I assure you!

Luka said...

Walker - boobs are already in use on a similar appeal, so I had to go below the belt.

Anonymous said...

A bout and a butt to boot! Count me in, love.

Beau
in a drizzly damn Seattle.

Luka said...

Beau - I hoped I could count on your donation. Is it a button or a foreign coin though?

(By the way, did you ever get my reply to your email?)

Anonymous said...

Yes I did receive you e-mail--been gone this last week so i haven't had time to respond--will do shortly tho.
Foreign coin, m';dear. I think I can probably come up with a bit.

Beau

Grundy Boyo said...

A bout? Grundy loves a good fight, and has been known to run a book. What's the opposition like? What are the rules? Will thongs be worn?

This could be a quick way to your target.

Luka said...

Grundy - hello! The opposition is fearsome, the rules are changeable and complex and thongs are worn, but not by me.

Helga Hansen said...

~Will not be wearing a thong either... it would cut into my arse like a cheese wire~

I see we have a new Boyo in our midsts...

Luka said...

Helga - Big Pants Rule!

Anonymous said...

Thongs are over-rated--best to wear nothing at all. It's more fun that way. Right?

Beau in Seattle.

Luka said...

Beau - exactly. Why wear something uncomfortable, which gives the illusion of a bare bottom, when you could just have a wonderfully comfortable actual bare bottom?

Anonymous said...

Like the man said, Luka, a bare bottom is thing of beauty and a joy forever.

Beau getting frisky in Seattle
Time to make the rounds.

Luka said...

Beau - have fun!

EmmaK said...

nice idea and I do want to help you out, but I don't think anyone would want to see my butt, even for free. Maybe ensconced in a tasteful bit of lace....I'm also donating a bucket of lira I found under my bed to the appeal.

Freddy said...

You'd get so much more if you had a paypal link...
and joined sugasm...

Luka said...

Emma - I'm thinking frills, baby, yeah! Thank you for your contribution. Can I keep the bucket, too?

Freddy - you're the second person to suggest Sugasm to me today!