Monday, 3 March 2008

Top Bloggers in Sex Scent-sation!

Ever keen to push the boundaries of sexual exploration and experimentation to the furthest limits, two of the sex blogging community's finest writers are busy developing a whole new dimension to the love making experience.

Having read my witty, intelligent and insightful post on smell they contacted me with details of their forays into pheromone fetishism. The first step is learning to recognise and love your own scent, and here we see Mystery Blogger X sporting a saucy little number which enables him to truly enjoy the pungent aromas of his own body.

This arouses him greatly and has led to some of his most stimulating blog posts. "I am never so creative," he informs me, "as when I am sat naked at my laptop with my face mask on, preferably after a good session at the gym, breathing in the intoxicating smell of my sweaty gonads. It conjures up those romantic backseat encounters like nothing else."

While this is all well and good, like so much in life, it is even more exciting with another person and luckily Mystery Sex Blogger Y was happy to volunteer her services. I shan't go into too much detail here as she is writing her own post about it ("Smell Sucking Nose Fuck" - look out for it in next week's Shitasm!) but suffice it to say that pheromones are much underrated.

"I came three times just adjusting the straps!" she gushed, damply. "I just wish our readers could smell what we're smelling, as it adds a whole extra dimension to our beautiful and evocative fuck posts."

"Yes," chimed in Blogger X. "I mean, at the moment our readers know there's a cunt -"

"Or prick!"

"- or prick behind our words, sure, but if they could smell them too... Oh, wow."

The Sex Blog Community's Hottest Couple in Action

23 comments:

bittersweet me said...

*choke*


Aromatherapy gone mad?

i think i might stick to Old Knudsen's tea and roses.

Angela-la-la said...

Please tell me you photoshopped that and it's not a real contraption!

puckrup said...

Two of the most traumatising images I've seen for a long time...please tell me this isn't real....

Old Knudsen said...

Excessive pheromones is my curse, just put me in a room with weemen and gheys and its like a shark feeding frenzy they all want me to be their chum and eat me. I can't really blame them as I have so much going on. I don't mean to brag but I've had more hot lunches on my chest than you've had hot lunches.

Luka said...

Me - makes a change from a scented candle, I suppose.

Angela-la-la - no photoshop involved, I assure you.

Puckrup - but...but...everything I post is real!

Old Knudsen - I've had my chest on more hot lunches than you've had hot lunches on your chest.

nursemyra said...

haha... very funny. I used that smae image in a post recently but yours is much funnier :-)

http://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2007/09/27/beauty-advice-from-searchlights-on-health/

Luka said...

Hello Nurse Myra! It's a hard image not to use, once you've seen it!

Anonymous Boxer said...

First, Old K would have more if he'd wash.

Second, I think you have found the absolute form of narcissism known to man (or woman).

Luka said...

Anonymous Boxer - I can only concur.

renalfailure said...

Hmmm... what is the scent of a flabby out-of-shape man? I'm going to take a stab in the dark here... desperation?

upset waitress said...

Been there, done that. Only I upgraded my contraption to include a capsule for my ass :)

Freddy said...

I think I saw a version of this in the 'gadgets r us' catalogue in last week's Sunday Telegraph.
If the entirety of the olfactory experience is contained within the device this is a boon to those with a soap allergy/phobia issue.

Luka said...

Hello RenalFailure! I think you have accurately identified the top note of desperation is this particular scent. There are also undertones of vanity, delusion and onion.

Upset Waitress - ah, you got the Luxury Model with the Ringpiece Pipe.

Freddy - it's the next big thing, I tell you. There'll be cheaper versions appearing in Ann Summers soon, you mark my words.

peter said...

My first thought was that these people were testers for 'foreskin fresh.'

Vi said...

*dry retching* Christ I've only just gotten over the feelness of wanting to chuck, and you've brought it back to me.

Thanks.

Luka said...

Peter - a quick blast of foreskin fresh would add another dimension to it all, I'm sure.

Vi - you're welcome! You can rely on the Boudoir to make you retch!

Melissaria said...

And if you can't afford the $2,000 fee to join scientificmatch.com's exclusive, scent-based DNA dating agency, this must be the poor person's alternative.

Thank goodness no-one's managed to invent scratch and sniff screen yet.

Jackie Adshead said...

This is for real? I think I'm missing something here......... actually, I think I'd rather stay that way,in my ignorant bliss!!

Amy said...

Ew. I feel queasy. *reaches for smelling salts*

PS I originally typed "smelly salts" oops!

Old Knudsen said...

Can you attach the tube to yer arse to enjoy yer own farts? that would sell well for Hybrid drivers.

Walker said...

Hell all I smell is pot and that's enough to get me going LOL

Sulpicia said...

Jesus. How the hell or where the hell did you find this????? I can't even imagine what one might have to google to have these pics pop up.

Luka said...

Melissaria - it won't be long until someone finds a way to make a nasal interface for your laptop....

Jackie - sometimes it is far better not to be at the cutting edge of technology.

Amy - I'll open a window.

Old Knudsen - absolutely, although that costs extra.

Walker - that's enough to get anyone going!

Sulpicia - I have my sources.