Thursday, 6 March 2008

The Song of the Stalker

I’m lurking in your bushes

Watching in the dark

I know what you are wearing

I’ve seen your small birthmark

I know what you had for tea

I went through your bin

I licked out your yogurt pot

And sniffed your cat food tin

“This is no relationship”

They all said to me

“It’s what gets termed as stalking

You’re bonkers, do you see?”

But is it really mental

Hiding in your shed?

Sifting through your rubbish sack

For each hair from your head?

I call it dedication

I call it real love

Who else would get such pleasure

From your soiled rubber glove?

I liked it in the shadows

I found inner peace

I wish that you had found me

Instead of the police


Angela-la-la said...

Have you been collaborating with my ex-husband on this? :-0

EmmaK said...

Brilliant. Do you write from experience ? ;) I believe after reading that that I don't have that tenacity to be a real life stalker. Can't be stalked. Email stalkings the way to go for me I believe.

Jackie Adshead said...

Lurking in your bushes eh? I think I had a different image in my head at that point, than you might have intended!!

Ms Robinson said...

Luk, any softer and it might be a love poem to a stalker. I need time to react to the new Luka Lite

Sulpicia said...

Creepy. The line between stalking and seduction is probably to be found in the garbage bin.

Luka said...

Angela-la-la - I have been collaborating with fellow stalkers in the bushes. Swapping trash top tips, that sort of thing.

Emma - I think I have the compulsive obsessiveness to fit the bill.

Jackie - you saucy minx!

Ms R - I am nothing if not multi faceted. A friend to all, that's me.

Sulpicia - creepy is what I was going for.

Anonymous Boxer said...

I could be a stalker. If necessary.

Tom Allen said...

Wait - so, that's like parody?


MonMouth said...

Well, I'm very glad you didn't burn the Boudoir to the ground and claim on the insurance after all.

Yours, in arse-licking conformity.


Anonymous said...

wank me off

Luka said...

Anonymoous Boxer - that's the spirit!

Tom Allen - now, who hasn't indulged in a bit of stalking now and then, really?

Luka said...

Monmouth - oh, I was just being a big la-la drama queen. The arse-licking is appreciated though.

Anonymous - you wank *me* off.

Walker said...

Aw you could have called it "My Nose On Your Window.

Luka said...

Walker - that's a brilliant title! If only I'd thought of it!

Anonymous said...

creepy. but it made me laugh too.

Luka said...

Nurse Myra - excellent, that was the aim!