Saturday, 15 March 2008

Flogging A One Trick Pony

Some sex bloggers feel the need to apologise when they fail to post about sex regularly.

To me, their apologies are unnecessary. I like it when the veil of fiction is dropped and a glimpse of human being is seen. As I have said before, the problem with sex blogging is that sooner or later you will run out of new ways to describe being fucked. Sex blogs inevitably become repetitive, the initial red-hot-sex-post-a-day slowly dwindling to maybe one or two a week. Or fewer. Correspondingly, the comments start to tail off as readers run out of anything new to say, other than "hawt".

So, the sex blogger can choose one of a number of routes. They can become ever more extreme in their recountings of fantastical adventures, they can accept that the only way to have fresh material to write about is to cover all of life's facets, not just the bumping uglies stuff, or they can close down and start anew, elsewhere, and regurgitate all their old material again.

I like it when they start to write about the rest of their lives. It interests me, making them more real, more three dimensional.

I was musing upon the plight of the one trick pony as I read a particularly lurid piece of prose earlier. My thought was this: what they would have to write about in ten years time?

There are many sex bloggers in that 40+ age bracket. They have reached the fabled mid-life crisis, have paid their dues being dutiful spouses, and now want to explore, to grab life with both hands and shag the arse off it before it's all too late. They want to share it all with an audience, to prove it's really happening, to be able to crow a little. "Look, look at me! I look like a normal frumpy forty year old, don't I? But I spent the night in a budget hotel room fucking people I met online, with a hunk of plastic up my arse! I am special! I am! Comment and tell me I am!"

Which is all well and good but what happens when being 40+ slides into 50+ and beyond? Are we to expect a great deal of geriatric sex blogging in the future? Beautiful and evocative tales of how slipping out your false teeth leads to a smoother blow job? How the anal play is trickier when working around hemorrhoids? How bending over for a flogging is great but it's a bugger straightening up again afterwards, what with having a dicky back and all?

I would read such posts avidly, actually, as they would be real and therefore interesting. However, I doubt they would fit with the hyper-perfection filter most sex bloggers use when they post their experiences. No one wants to read about the embarrassing bits, the unattractive bits. They want the fantasy fuck. And - leaving gerontophiles aside - geriatric sex ain't that.

So, where will today's sex bloggers be in a decade or two? Posting elsewhere about knitting or gardening? Or still flogging that one trick pony?

20 comments:

lalita said...

Good point.

That's why you need to start early enough with the whole sex blogging thing, so that you can retire as a respected sex blogger before getting hemorrhoids.

Luka said...

Lalita - yes indeed. This is why I could never be a respected sex blogger, I left it too late! Ooh, me Emma Freuds...

Ro said...

Yeah, I left it a tad late too. In fact, I'm one of those 40+ bloggers you refer to.

Fortunately, I don't have any pretensions about being a "sex blogger"; I just happen to write about sex once in a while.

If you don't mind, I won't write about my hemorrhoids just now though ...

lalita said...

I'm 26, so I think I still have a chance for a career in this highly competitive field if I start now. I should start searching for sex partners asap. Luka, please promise you will pass by from time to time to tell me how "beautiful and evocative" my posts are!

Flowering Jasmine said...

Give me some real life tales of someones sweet and true life. Thats what does it for me.
Make me laugh or make me cry but please don't try to make me come.

I prefer reality to the same old repetative fantasies of some.

Anyway must go......have to have hot sex with some random so i have something to post about tomorrow!
xx

Luka said...

Ro - oh, go on. I would find it informative and interesting.

Lalita - you don't need an actual sex partner to be a sex blogger! You either invent one, start a cyber fling, or re-hash every adolescent fumble and fantasy you ever had. Top it off with a pic of your arse and a sex toy review and you'll be as just beautiful and evocative as the rest of them!

Jasmine - I have yet to read any sex blog posting, anywhere, by anyone, that actually, genuinely makes me throb with girly pleasure. Some arouse my interest, others my hilarity, or bile, but none have resulted in a frenzied, sticky fingered bout of self love.

Curvaceous Dee said...

If I ever take up knitting it will be to create dildo-covers, I think.

I personally like it when it's about more than just the sex. It's an interest, but not the be-all and end-all of my blogging career :)

xx Dee

The Troll said...

Interesting thoughts. My guess is most sex-blogs have bad stats. Zillions of visitors who stay for 5 seconds or less.

Luka said...

Curvaceous Dee - do dildos need covers?

The Troll - that is certainly the case for many of them.

Anonymous Boxer said...

When I visit Petfinder? That's Porn to me.

**banging head on computer**

Freddy said...

What happens when 40+ turns into 50+?

'tain't no biggie - 50 is the new 30 didn't you know?

Luka said...

Anonymous Boxer - *makes soothing noises*

Freddy - so I hear - but where are the 50+ writing about it all, that's what I want to know? It's sure to be more interesting than what their more immature counterparts are banging on about.

Amy said...

How many ways can you describe how you have sex, especially if you are in a monogamous relationship? I've talked to Richard about this, and he pointed out that we are writing more of a relationship blog than a sex blog. So far there has been plenty to write about in that regard.

For us, writing a blog has been a great way to document the early development of our relationship and a place for Richard to try out new pictures. AND we've met some nifty people on line (eg you, Luka). I don't know how much longer we'll hold out, certainly we are posting far less than we used to, but we're still enjoying it.

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Amy said...

Argh, double post!

Luka, precious, please delete my redundancy.

Luka said...

Amy - done and done :) Yes, your blog is more about the dynamics of your relationship and what makes it work, and that is what keeps it so popular and interesting. I can see you still having material to write about in 10 years time as you haven't limited yourself to variations of "he put that in there and it felt good".

Walker said...

I don't see nothing wrong with sex blogs but posting about the exact same thing all the time makes people wonder if there is anything else people do?

I don't mind writing sex posts but prefer to write fiction using some of my lifes experience for detail.
It's not easy writing something you can only assume about.

Luka said...

Walker - no, there's nothing wrong with sex blogs, especially the ones that ring the changes and/or have a story to tell.

nursemyra said...

I'm already writing about geriatric sex :-)

Luka said...

Nurse Myra - funnily enough, I did think of your blog as I posted this.