Strangely, not everyone realises that fat bottomed girls do indeed make the rocking world go round. We have TV "personalities" like Gillian McKeith taking to the streets and shouting about banning big bums. I find this a bit rich. After all, I don't go round shouting about banning gerbil faced shit stirrers.
I love my big fat arse. It does everything you'd expect from a posterior, and more!
Not only does it provide comfortable seating no matter how hard the ground, it also proudly fills out a pair of enormous knickers in a grandiose manner that smaller, skinnier arses just can't match.
Whereas other, more pert behinds, can cheekily display a four or five word message on novelty pants, mine can boast a 700 word count capacity and still have room for an accompanying image and a free gift.
The ensuing quivers and ripples that undulate after a good slap provide an exotic de-stressor for those without a lava lamp.
Why on earth would anyone want to ban that that?