- Be offensive. Taking someone elses hard work and mocking it is a quick and easy route to satirical greatness.
- Hide your bitterness at not having a fabulous arse or unimpeded access to a cucumber by pointing and laughing at those who do. This will show everyone how very, very clever you really are.
- Pick a sex blogger to stalk. This will give greater depth to your satire and is a sign of genuine affection for your chosen one. It is not weird.
- Post about how nobody wishes to engage in proper conversation with you and remain perpetually mystified as to why this should be, despite the fact that you have been consistently offensive about those same people for quite some time.
- Be rude about those who post pictures of their bodily parts on their blogs and then do the same thing yourself. This is not hypocrisy, it's humourous.
- Be scathing about blogging awards whilst sighing and staring wistfully at the empty space on your metaphorical mantelpiece.
- Use a lot of swear words. Swearing is both big and clever and gets you noticed.
- Have a brawl in public if at all possible. Nothing is more welcoming to the new reader than to find you engaged in an acid-etched bitchfest in your comments box.
- When you run out of ideas (which won't take long) resort to poetry. Everyone loves a poem!
- Remember, it's not just a bit of fun. You are doing this for the hits, for the possible comic book deal. Don't just take a laid back approach to it all. Make sure you are infamous everywhere and try to get as much hate mail as you can. Post a few more pictures of your arse in clingfilm and if all else fails, invent your own satirical sex blog award system so you can win every week and all the sex bloggers will be green with envy. You can't fail!
Friday, 4 January 2008
Top Tips for Satirical Sex Bloggers
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It's a good question, one that remains both unasked and unanswered. I found myself back in here by chance. A random comment on Facebo...
The sex blogger now known as Bert Was demanding and terribly curt I said "where's your class?" He said "up your arse&q...