Friday, 11 January 2008

Sex Blogger Self Love

I'm really good at sex, you know
I'm very good indeed
I'm really tight there, down below
And slick with endless need

I have a perfect arse, you see
My tits are bouncy too
I know that you all fancy me
You'll have to form a queue

I truly am an awesome fuck
My writing tells you so
The way I stroke and lick and suck
The way I can't say no

I'm up for it just all the time
There's nothing I won't try
My deviation is sublime
My cunt is never dry

I'm a sex goddess in the sack
I'll take it up the arse
My underwear is always black
My body hair is sparse

My sex life is just hot, hot hot
My lovers have big dicks
I always cum and squirt a lot
And like to pose for pics

Did I mention I'm great in bed?
Did I list all my toys?
Did I say I give awesome head?
That I make so much noise?

It's not just me who thinks I'm great
My lovers share my view
And I help you lot masturbate
So you all know it's true.

17 comments:

Angela-la-la said...

Bwa. And, indeed, hahaha.

Sulpicia said...

Gawd... I wish you were talking about hawt me.

Alas, no.

OK, maybe ten years ago. Did we meet then?

No. I didn't have a blog ten years ago. I was too busy being hawt.

I kind of challenged you in a sucky post today. I need you to write me a country song.

It's not such a leap, is it? I want you to make huge fun of me and my angst because I can't do it myself. I have a prize. I'll buy you my favourite body cream. I think you'd like it.

Flowering Jasmine said...

It is posts like the one you describe that have put me right off blogging. I want to read something that makes me think or laugh or cry......not cringe. x

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was brilliant!

bittersweet me said...

nailed!

Very funny. Life would be a duller place without the loveable sex blogger.

Duke Orsino said...

Oh yes. Bang on. Well done.

Jackie Adshead said...

As ever, a delight, Luka!

Luka said...

Angela-la-la - and, indeed, snurf and titter.

Sulpicia - I am intrigued. I shall come and look directly.

Flowering Jasmine - I know what you mean.

Vi vi vi voom - thank you kindly!

Bittersweet Me - without them what would I write about? Everyone knows I love them really.

Duke Orsino - thank you, kind sir.

Jackie - thank you, lovely lady.

having my cake said...

Arse and sparse... I wish Id thought of that rhyme! The last verse was my fave tho :)

Sulpicia said...

I'll need a location to send the cream.

Curvaceous Dee said...

Oh, but that was brilliant - not to mention extremely funny. You made my evening when I read that!

*applauds*

xx Dee

Luka said...

Having My Cake - I wanted no confusion with my arse rhymes this time (ie regional variations with pronounciation of glass, grass, etc).

Sulpicia - I need no reward for doing what I enjoy :)

Dee - if I have made you smile I consider it a job well done x

TVX Mole said...

Even though its only recent that I've cum across(!) your page,

Your passion seems relentless, your words of lust so sage

I ache for arse, your breasts, your feet, all taking me much higher

So luka - i implore, impale me on all your barbed wire!

;-)

Great blog - really enjoying it!

lv James (TVX Mole)

Luka said...

James - wow, a comment in rhyme! Love it! Many thanks for the compliment and welcome to my Boudoir.

Anonymous said...

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Suzanne said...

Luka, I love you. I've developed this cycle of reading erotic blogs, feeling dissatisfied, then reading BWB, laughing, and swearing off the sex blogs (until I start it all again).

Luka said...

Suzanne - hello! Thank you - I am glad the Boudoir is of some help in kicking the sex blog habit.