Tuesday, 29 January 2008

BDSM on a Budget


"Does that hurt?"

"Um...no, no, that's fine."

"Damn. How about now?"

"Ow! OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOw! Fuck!"

"Excellent!"

If you'd like to hear the sweet sounds of suffering for yourself, but simply don't have the finances for genuine leather harnesses, whips, spreader bars, clamps and appliances, why not try Luka's LoCost Kink Kit? For a fraction of the price of shop bought equipment you can create your very own dungeon in the comfort of your own living room!

You will need:

  • Black bin bags
  • Elastic bands
  • String
  • Plasters
  • Old tights
  • Clothes pegs
  • Paperclips
  • Tweezers
  • A pair of "control" knickers
  • Feather duster
  • Hairbrush
  • Wooden spoons
  • Ice cubes
  • Candles
  • A shatterproof ruler
  • Swimming goggles
  • Table tennis bat
  • One pouch of cat food and a hungry cat
  • An epilator
Of course, this list is not exhaustive. I am sure most of you will have items of your own lying about the house that would be a fine addition to the LoCost Kink Kit. So, what have I missed that can be used for budget torment?

15 comments:

Angela-la-la said...

A mangle
Superglue
Brillo pads
Leg waxing kit
Cordless drill (sanding attachment a bonus)
Teenagers*

* please note this option is only for use in hardcore cases where the physical stuff has become mundane. Play safe and stay sane, lovers!

Sulpicia said...

A wood stove in case you don't have a... hmmm... just lookin' around the house and that's all I can come up with. Candles are probably more practical. BDSM is nothing if not practical. How about computer cords? Extension cords? Turkey baster? (I knoe the last is tres yesterday... but we could revive it!)

Sulpicia said...

know. know. know. damn. back to grade school!

Curvaceous Dee said...

~ backscratchers
~bamboo stakes (filched from the tomato patch)
~ shoehorn
~ meat mallet

It's amazing what kinky shit you can find in $2 shops, and kitchen stores :)

xx Dee

Walker said...

hmmm syrup, different flavors and whipped cream.
Zip ties
paper halloween masks
spatula

and for those looking to jack it up a notch, car battery and booster cables

having my cake said...

Agreeing wholeheartedly with Ange over the teenager option and LMAO at Walker for also having a spatula - an amazingly multi-functional piece of equipment.

Freddy said...

ROFL at the cat and cat food!

please add to the kit........

clothes pegs
dressmakers tracing wheel
clingfilm

bittersweet me said...

- parmesan grater
- magnificent caramel swirl brownies eaten out of arm's reach
- greaseproof baking paper


am still hysterical over cat .. what joy!

Jackie Adshead said...

Old scarves for blindfolds and of course Alice Coopers cd "Welcome to my nightmare" playing in the background!

Love the idea of one hungry moggy adding that interesting frisson to the proceedings!

Luka said...

Good heavens! What a bunch of absolute perverts you all are! I knew you wouldn't disappoint me :) xxx

Ms Robinson said...

I really wanted to contribute but I am laughing so much I can't think. It's Ange's teenagers, that parmesan grater and a hungry cat...thank you. I had a non productive day and now have tears of mirth in my eyes.

Luka said...

Ms R - budget torment brings great pleasure, as we are all now aware :)

Anonymous said...

...and an iron-wire rust brush?

Luka said...

Anonymous - ouchies indeed.

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.