Sunday, 16 December 2007

A Few Good Men

I am blessed with good men in my life. I am doubly blessed in that I am married to one of them.

Reading through many blogs you could be forgiven for getting the impression that spouses tend to be callous, insensitive, unfulfilling bastards and that only lovers are gifted with sexual prowess and the ability to siginificantly dampen a duvet. After reading some authors you are left wondering why they married such an unsexy, joyless git in the first place, and why they remain if life is so fucking awful and red hot lover is so a-MAZ-ing. (Usually it's because despite being an insensitive, sexless destroyer of self esteem, the spouse pays the bills, keeps the roof over their heads and is good with the kids. But will they tie their other half to the bed and jam a sex toy up their arse whilst snarling "you love it, you dirty slut"? Will they fuck. The selfish cunts!)

Anyway, this little post-ette is just to say that I had one of the best evenings I have had in a very long time with......(fanfare) husband. It wasn't set in a hotel room, it wasn't illicit, it wasn't risky but it was warm and loving, companionable, sexy and fun. I wouldn't swap it for a room full of dildo-wielding casual fucks. (Actually, that is quite a scary image, and not many people would put a tick in that box).

I have not been drinking.


Cyrano Q said...

Hear Hear!!

Play away from home, by all means. Plenty of people do while still managing to love and respect the one waiting at home. Sometimes, I'm sure, the spouse is even aware that something's going on, and allows it to go ahead with unspoken permission, because the love and respect is mutual, and secure. Who knows.

However, if you using the shortcomings of your spouse to justify a legion of lovers, you should maybe consider why you're remaining married to them in the first place. Using them to pay the bills while you have fun elsewhere isn't an entirely attractive position to hold, really. Sometimes ,it's best to just set everyone free from painful situations, however traumatic it seems in the short term.

But what do I know. Apart from a belief in respect, that is.

bittersweet me said...

Congratulations, Luka, on the satisfied grin.

Blogs are often the only outlet available for expressing a little discontent - real life family and friends have so much invested in 'your' relationship that it is unrfair to grumble to them.

Perhaps some anonymous whinging is a simple way of letting of steam - particularly if you are NOT the wage earner and perhaps at home looking after said kids with less flexible options that you might wish, in a ideal world.

Curvaceous Dee said...

This post made me smile, Luka. I, too, love my husband dearly and we have a great life - when we're stay-at-home nanas, out being social, or in bed being intimate (and Cyrano, I play away from home with spoken permission, which in my mind is even better).

Thank you for the reminder that we generally get married for a reason - a good reason - and that it can be worth it!

xx Dee

Flowering Jasmine said...

Luka, that made me very happy and gave me another little confirmation that i have done the right thing for me. So glad you had one of those special nights xx

peter said...

I am lucky to be married, and have been for MANY years, to a wonderful, warm, loving woman who means the world to me in every way. How good it is to read of your love for your husband. We do indeed get married for a reason and I wouldn't change a minute of it.

Marcelle Manhattan said...

I could not agree more. Sometimes, spouses do suck. But other times (and we hope most times!) they're wonderful. Maybe people feel that isn't interesting enough? I don't know, but good for you to say it. I'm glad you're happily married.

Freddy said...

I believe it was Marx who said "Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution"

This idea that we can be happily married whilst stealing ourselves away for illicit time with a lover ignores the fact that for a marriage, or indeed any other relationship, to be happy BOTH partners need to be happy.

I don't kid myself about that any more. Nor do I kid myself that I can simply walk away from 30 yrs of companionship without some collateral damage.

That being said, I'm glad that you and Mr Luka had fun and maybe re-discovered something?

EmmaK said...

Like you I have a spouse who is wonderful in every shape and form. There is a lot to be said for the relaxed sex you have with someone you are truly intimate with and who has known and loved you for years.

Anonymous Boxer said...

I decided when I started my blog to never discuss The Mister.

Mostly because we've always had an agreement to only talk about the other one when we're both present.

It keeps things simple.

Jackie Adshead said...

Glad you had a good time with the person you're supposed to. Nice isn't it?

Luka said...

Cyrano - yes, respect is key I believe.

Bittersweet Me - oh yes, I quite understand the need to vent. I suppose I felt an overwhelming urge to redress the balance and just write a short piece in praise of spouses, for a change.

Curvaceous Dee - I am glad to hear you are also happy with your husband. It is all too easy to take our other halves for granted sometimes. Here's to the thrills of re-discovery!

Flowering Jasmine - thank you, I intend to make more of these special nights occur.

Peter - hello, and welcome to the Boudoir! I am so pleased to hear you have a wonderful wife. It makes such a refreshing change to read about marriages that are working.

Marcelle - indeed. It's very easy to see lovers through rose tinted spectacles, as you don't have the same frustrations and mundane irritations with them as you do with the person you share your home with. Time with a lover is time in a bubble, with no arguments about whose turn it is to take out the rubbish or walk the dog. Lovers have the time and energy to tie you to a bed and shove a dildo up your arse, spouses have the mortgage to worry about. That's not to say they won't tie you to a bed and shove a dildo up your arse, but that they may need the same level of attention and seduction as that you would give to a lover.

Freddy - there is no perfect solution, and each situation needs work and compromise. But, yes, I am very happy to rediscover the joys of Mr Luka.

Emma - absolutely! I love that sensation of comfort and familiarity, feeling you have come home, that you are safe.

Anonymous Boxer - that sounds very sensible to me!

Jackie - yes, it was just what I needed.

The Circus

The circus seduced me, I long to join in I made my own outfit, perfected my grin I just haven't yet found what it is I can do In my ...