Friday, 28 December 2007

2007 Sex Blog Retrospective

January

What an explosive start to the New Year with arse pics galore and postings about sex! Many bloggers resolved to get really creative this year - maybe starting with some really arty shots of their own backside and more postings about putting things up their bottom in a hotel room. It was an optimistic beginning that left we, the readers, a-quiver with anticipation.

February

Ah, Valentine's Day - what a feast for lovers those Cupids of Sex-Blog-Land laid on for us this year. There were pink arse pics and postings about sex! Who could forget the romance of the tale of the cucumber up the ringpiece, or the spunky eyebrows?

March

March saw a return to the gritty realism that sex blogs do so well. There were spotty arse pics and postings about sex! I was particularly interested in the award-winning post about fisting for feminism in a Ford Fiesta. Stirring stuff.

April

Drip, drip, drip little golden showers....yes, a whole new world of watersports was unveiled as sex blogging took to the toilets and showed all of us dry-night vanilla types just what we were missing out on. Wet sheets, mostly. But kudos to those who bravely wrote of their piss-stained passions. And if that wasn't enough there were also ground breaking arse pics and postings about sex!

May

Spring was definitely in the air and so were many sex bloggers legs. As the sap continued to rise we were treated to some saucy arse pics and postings about sex! Fresh talent started to appear all over Sex-Blog-Land, with whole new perceptions to discover on how cucumbers feel up the arse and how good it is to have sex with a sexy person.

June

Half way through the year and still no sign of flagging from our tireless sex bloggers. Against all odds each day they still managed to come up with something new - perhaps an arse pic, or a post about sex! My personal favourite from June was the arousing story of how it feels to nosh off a stranger in a public lavatory whilst supposedly out picking up a pint of milk for the missus. A deserved Sugasm winnah, that one, I'm sure we all agree.

July

Oh, those suh-hum-mer.....NAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHTSSS........ Ah, Danny and Sandy never had as much fun as our depraved, sticky-fingered keyboard jockeys. Summer lovin' was having a blast, with hot arse pic action and postings about sex! And if you needed to cool down, there were many marvellous hints on how best to insert a cucumber into yourself or a loved one.

August

While many sex bloggers took a well-earned holiday there was still plenty of essential reading to be found online. If you were looking for something in the buttock department, there were arse pics aplenty, and some amazingly new and interesting posts about sex! The most fascinating post of the month had to be the revelation that if cucumber up the chuff is cool, then ginger in the fundament is hot hot hot! It certainly brought tears to my eyes.

September

The month of the literary sex blog. There were still arse pics and postings about sex, but in a blurry, obscure sort of way. The mindfuck was where it was at. The days of "he took me up the arse and I loved it," were over. The days of "he took me with his soul, my mind filled with billowing steam from the engine of his desire, and I loved it," were here. Readers weren't quite sure what had been put where, so just had to comment "beautiful and evocative" and go wank off on YouPorn.

October

As the nights grew colder and longer we could rely on our tireless sex bloggers to keep us warm. Cosy arse pics and snuggly postings about sex - what more could you need?

November

As winter set in, so did introspection. Angst was a common theme, with arse pics and postings about sex combined with a twinge of sadness. Kind of, "here is my arse - but why? We all want to stick things up it except for the person I married - what's that all about?"

December

Revelatory posts abound. Who'd have thought sex would be a different experience with different people? Or that Christmas could be so stressful? Thank goodness for our cutting edge sex bloggers. A whole year of posts and still they keep coming up with new insights, arse pics and posts about nobbing! Hurrah!

12 comments:

having my cake said...

Wicked, bad, naughty Luka! Consider yourself reprimanded and not encouraged whatsoever... There, that and the Xmas toffees should earn me a glowing end of term report from MsR. Now, I just need to decide on which picture of my fabulous arse Im going to use for 2008... Happy New Year x

bittersweet me said...

*dabbing at eyes with spotty hankie*

'...my mind filled with billowing steam from the engine of his desire...'

I love it when you are bored.

ps. my pics are not of my arse, but rather my knickers. It's TEXTURAL.

Isa Kaufmann said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
EmmaK said...

Brilliant!

Personally I think I should get a prize for NOT having posted a picture of my arse on my blog. Okay so it might have something to do with the fact that my digital camera is fucked....
Happy New Year
xx

Angela-la-la said...

I love these end of year round ups especially when there's been so much going on.

HNY, Luka.

Luka said...

Having My Cake - a cunning plan, but I tampered with those toffees because I am so wicked bad and naughty.

Me - gawd, I hate it when I am bored! It leads to naughtiness.

Emma - you could lovingly describe your arse through the power of prose.

Angela-la-la - Glad to be of service! Always amazing how much you forget happened in the course of a year.

Happy New Year to you all xxx

Ms Robinson said...

Oh now this is the kind of retrospective that doesn't need cheap red wine and crappy canapes. Vintage stuff Luka. x

Luka said...

Thank you, Ms R. Cheap red wine and crappy canapes are always optional in the Boudoir. x

Freddy said...

But seriously, if you had to sum it all up, what would you say?
2007, the year of the arse?
or 2007, the year of the arsy?

On a footballing note, 2007 was the year of United in the Premier League, but I digress.

2007, the year of the Barb.

Thank you Luka, may 2008 continue to bring you the inspiration you seek.

Freddy said...

PS love you xxx

Anonymous Boxer said...

I did love the photos.

Especially the saran wrap shots.

Happy New Year!

Jackie Adshead said...

Lovely, as ever Luka! Not sure I'll be able to eat a cucumber ever again though!

Happy New Year to you, hope it brings all you desire!