He is feeling aggressive these days. His eyes follow me, which is disconcerting. I try to lose them - darting suddenly down an alleyway, doubling back on myself, hailing a taxi and speeding away - yet still they follow. His nose and ears can't be bothered, they just stay put.
He wants me to anticipate his needs, have his bananas peeled and his tyre swing ready when he wants them. If I am too slow he growls and throws poo at me.
Many people don't understand how I can live my life this way. "Isn't it humiliating?" they enquire. All I can say is that since I met Guy I feel complete. It is so much easier now I just submit whenever he beats his chest and whoops. It is liberating to let him control our life together. I never have to think about what to cook for dinner, for example. It's always bananas. And he does have a softer side. I get to lie there, content in his furry lap, for hours while he picks insects off me and gently breaks wind. Really, we're not so different to any other couple.