Monday, 29 October 2007

The Gap Between Fantasy and Reality

"But what are you meant to be?"

"I am a black cat."

"Where are your ears?"

"They fell off."

"Where's your tail?"

"I haven't got one."

I was beginning to sense some doubt and felt obliged to point out I had actually put a bit of effort into my outfit.

"I did stick some wicked claws onto my gloves."

They glanced, tellingly, at my bare hands.

"I had to take them off though. It was too hazardous when I went to the toilet. I've got a mask. I only took it off for a moment as it made my face so hot. It's got whiskers and everything."

Some people have no imagination. I shrugged and sipped more wine. As far as I was concerned, I was Catwoman.

17 comments:

Freddy said...

ahh but did you rub your body against people's legs?
drink milk from a saucer?
catch mice?
did you purr?

I hope you did two of those at least

Luka said...

I went mad on catnip. I think it was catnip. I went mad on it, anyway.

Anonymous Boxer said...

Catnip - the only reason to be a cat.

Flowering Jasmine said...

Ah, but did you cough up any furballs?

bittersweet me said...

I can think of several reasons to be a kitten, all of which make me purrrrr.

did you perform any dastardly deeds as catwoman?

Jackie Adshead said...

I think it's all down to attitude, never mind about appearances. Did you manage to sit in the middle of the room, put one elegant leg in the air and diligently lick your nether regions?

having my cake said...

LMAO at Jackie!
Luka you should have just said you'd come as pussy. There would have been no arguing then!

Luka said...

Anonymous Boxer - that and the ability to lick your own nether regions, as pointed out by Jackie.

Hello, Flowering Jasmine, and welcome aboard the Boudoir. I left a surprise in the sock drawer, does that count?

Me - no dastardly deeds, only decadent ones.

Jackie - I have people to do that for me, to save me cricking my neck.

Cake - I assumed people would take that as read!

Freddy said...

apropos your reply to Jackie

giss a job, I could do that, gis a job

(with acknowledgement to Yosser Hughes, but be assured I won't deliver the same response as he did when he was rejected.... - I'm a man, I'm used to rejection!)

Luka said...

Freddy - you'll have to complete some aptitude tests, mostly oral.

Freddy said...

Once you've seen me eat a Cream Egg, or a Walnut Whip I'm sure that you'll be ready to issue the job offer.

Or I could provide testimonials.

Luka said...

Freddy - if you continue down this path of sexual innuendo I believe your testimonials will be so weighty they will need to be carried in a wheelbarrow.

Freddy said...

You started it!!

Luka said...

*Arches eyebrow and looks pointedly in Jackie's direction*

Jackie Adshead said...

Whoops....... er, should I feel abashed at this point? ....... Mmmmm......... No...... I don't think I do!!!! lol

I'm just glad I found an item you can all relate to!!! (And to think, I could have mentioned scratching the furniture instead)!!

Luka said...

Jackie - I was going to go for vomiting on the duvet, so I think we are all grateful you went for the option you did!

Ashtyn said...

Good for people to know.