I have taken a wander through self-professed literary blogs today. Here is what I have learned.
To qualify as "literate" you will need to include a lot of analogies in your writing and obscure your meaning as much as possible, so that your post resembles a prolonged cryptic crossword clue.
Oh, and the subject matter should be about yourself whenever possible and emphasise how very special you are.
If you are still in any doubt as to whether a blog is literary or not, here is a generic example to help you:
"I am like water. See how my surface sparkles in the light. Yet don't be fooled when you look into my liquid depths, it is only your reflection you see, not the inner me. I lie hidden in the abyss like a fish, some dweller of the ocean floor, formed under pressure, unique and unseen.
Or maybe you are the fish. Slippery and somehow wet. I am elemental, like fire. Or wind. I blow strongest when you are weak, like cheap tea. Like a fairground ride I go up and down. Admire my bright lights, listen to the music I make. Enjoy the ride and breathe me in, like oxygen. Don't try to understand me though. Like the deities I am a mystery. I can not tell you where I am, you must find me, follow my clues and dig me up, like treasure. See how my jewels glitter, desire my lustre on your skin, but don't try to wear me everyday, I am far too precious and rareified for that! I will draw you a map with the salt of my tears. But don't try to find me!"
And so on.
It has made me appreciate "and then I came all over her tits" a lot more, I can tell you.