As (stupidly) promised last week, here are my clingfilm bloomers. I can confirm that my buttocks were as fresh when I removed the clingfilm as when first I wrapped them. Well done, Extra Wide Clingfilm!
As an aside, I just want to say a respectful "hats off to all those who manage to photograph their own arse and keep it in focus". I failed in that department, and so - to the great relief of all concerned - pictures of my own arse will not become a regular feature of the Boudoir.
All other forms of arse remain.