Wednesday, 11 July 2007

Fun Quiz #2

How pervy are you?

In these days of sex blogs and Cosmopolitan it's hard to know if you're still a bit kinky or now regarded as the norm. Simply answer the questions below to discover the inner you.

1. A friend of yours pops up in a chat window. They are definitely flirting with you. There have been "lol"s and winky smileys and everything. Do you:

A) Steer the conversation back onto safer territory. They are just a friend, after all.
B) Flirt right back, with lashings of innuendo and saucy repartee.
C) Immediately strip off, smear yourself with Nutella, switch on the webcam and wank yourself frenziedly whilst continuing to type with one finger to your msn buddy?

2. Sexy attire is:

A) Classic, well cut and figure flattering.
B) Tight and revealing.
C) A leather harness, fishnet stockings and a pony tail butt plug?

3. Your lover brings you breakfast in bed. Do you:

A) Snuggle up close as you share a croissant.
B) Lick jam from your lips alluringly with the promise of more oral delights to follow.
C) Rub butter all over your body and insert toastie soldiers into your marmite motorway whilst your lover drips hot egg yolk onto your nipples and takes photos?

4. When enjoying precious alone time and indulging your sensuous side you're most likely to be found:

A) Reading a passionate novel in an aromatherapy bath.
B) Indulging in some solo sex play with the stimulation of your choice.
C) Being broadcast over the internet via your webcam with a pair of used knickers on your head and a cucumber up your arse?

5. Completing this quiz made you feel:

A) That this was 2 minutes of your life you'd never get back.
B) Mildly amused.
C) The need to buy more cucumbers and rummage through the laundry basket?

So, how did you do?

Mostly As: You are not pervy. You are normal and wear sensible shoes and comfortable underwear.
Mostly Bs: You have pervy potential. If you'd like to develop your deviant side why not try inserting root vegetables into yourself and writing about it on your blog to get those creative juices flowing?
Mostly Cs: You are Practically Pervy in Every Way. You're probably performing some degrading lust-fuelled degenerate sex act as I type. I expect the evidence in my in box shortly.


Anonymous Boxer said...

Can I have a B+? I think I want to be more pervy than I actually am.

Oh Good Lord, I need help.

Luka said...

Help to be more pervy? Can do!

Isabella Snow said...

LOL, did you make this test up yourself? I love the wank yourself frenziedly line!

Freddy said...

1. B, I just can't help it, I'm a flirt.

2. Do I have to choose just one of these? Really? errr then A. But with C underneath

3. B obviously, except I don't do continental breakfast so it wouldn't be jam it would be brown sauce. Although the hot egg yolk sounds really good if you're offering

4. This quiz is for women isn't it? I may be in touch with my feminine side but I don't do aromatherapy, or passionate novels.

5. Was that only 2 minutes? Felt like longer.

I suspect we already knew that I am at least potentially pervy, and quite possibly PPIEW - that would be why I read your final sentence as an invitation to invade your box. (Obviously I read box in a euphemistic way - thus starting a thought process that could easily have altered the answer to Q4)

having my cake said...

Mostly B... Ah, Goddamit, I was just doing a post about my predilection for abusing myself with root vegetables too!

Puckrup said...

Inspired by your signposts to pervy pleasure, I have surgically inserted my prize-winning 50lb monster cucumber into my gaping and ravaged arse. I can report that it really, really hurts and am wondering if perhaps I have started a little too ambitiously? Please help. My eyes are watering...

Luka said...

Isabella - yes, this is all my own work. I really do get that bored in the evenings!

Freddy - your pervy potential was never in doubt.

Having my cake - such organic experiences are always good blog fodder.

Puckrup - I bet the other entrants to the village fete best veg competition weren't overjoyed either.

me said...

i fear i am only a level B perve

*must try harder, must try harder*

Curvaceous Dee said...

Mostly B's, thankfully, with a wee smattering of A's and C's.

And this line gave me a spit-take: Rub butter all over your body and insert toastie soldiers into your marmite motorway whilst your lover drips hot egg yolk onto your nipples and takes photos?

Marmite motorway? First time I've heard that euphemism.

xx Dee

Luka said...

Curvaceous Dee - I find "marmite motorway" to be beautifully evocative of the acquired taste that encapsulates the essence of exploring the chocolate starfish. And it's funny.