Wednesday, 18 July 2007

A Brawl at the Boudoir

"That was some party," I mused, surveying the wreckage. Tables and chairs, overturned, glasses shattered, fallen bottles still leaking their sticky contents into the shagpile rug. There appeared to be a crudely drawn moustache on my portrait above the fireplace and someone had been sick in the aquarium.

"It's going to be quite a long day for you," I said to the Maid. "You'd best get started."

I sat and watched as she resignedly began to pick the cigarette butts out of the foie gras. Fuck me, but that was a humdinger of a brawl, last night.

It had all started so well. A select gathering. A few drinkies. A bit of chit chat, the chink of glasses. Very pleasant. Then someone said something about someone else being a clueless wanker and before I could say "mind the vol au vents" I was wearing a bowl of sherry trifle and grinding Quavers into somebody's hair.

Fucking Book Club.

9 comments:

Freddy said...

vol au vents and sherry trifle? quavers and foie gras?
No wonder there was trouble

me said...

has the maid finished clearing up yet?

Luka said...

Freddy - I'll have you know that was quality catering. It was the White Lightning and Absinthe that caused the problem.

Me - there are still some stubborn understains she needs to scrub, but we're mostly restored to what passes for normality.

Ms Robinson said...

Luka: get out of the blogoir and cast your satirical eye on the stupid things people are saying on yahoo for one. And send me a small jPeg of my award so I can write about why I would accept this but no ass licking awards. theladyrobinson@yahoo.com

And if that doesn't inspire you I have a major dose of vitriol coming up on my blog sometime tomorrow. People will hate me and everything. But I reckon you will enjoy it.

EmmaK said...

Darling, this made me giggle, and started off a mad crazy longing for sherry trifle.

Luka said...

Ms Robinson - I shall take a look. I find vitriol usually inspires me. I am sure I will enjoy your post - it will cleanse my palate like a lemon sorbet after too much cloying stodge.

Luka said...

EmmaK - thank you, my lovely. You are welcome to any trifle I have left about my person.

Anonymous Boxer said...

Gee, my book club is boring.

Luka said...

Anonymous Boxer - then you know what to do now to liven it up!