Thursday, 28 June 2007

7 Things About Me That None Of Us Give a Fuck About

Because The Man was so butch, and put his hands on his hips and everything, I am going to do his, frankly stupid, meme thing.

1. These are not my shoes.

2. I have a fetish for having jam smeared over my naked body and then having slices of toast flung at me by men dressed as Mounties.

3. I keep the dessicated remains of my first hamster in a tiny box-coffin that I keep in my pocket as a conversation piece.

4. I once won first prize in the Cheese Marketing Board fancy dress competition. I went as Wensleydale.

5. I like to take photos of myself in just a snorkel and flippers and post them on seal sanctuary websites.

6. Once, after a particularly refreshing night out, I was abducted by small, furry aliens. They took me into their wooden, tree-like spaceship and offered me futuristic space food, very similar to nuts in appearance. When I woke up some time later, I was alone on a park bench and covered in acorns.

7. I find other people's memes as boring as other people's dreams. Or the Sugasm listings.

8 comments:

The Man With Secrets said...

8. You made me laugh. Again.

Luka said...

And I do love to make you laugh.

me said...

please make no.5 real

Luka said...

Me - just keep checking those sea mammal websites!

Ms Robinson said...

Funny, funny stuff. All listings are boring I think. Except a good menu.

Luka said...

Thank you, Ms R. Yes, listings are mostly dull, unless they pertain to food, as you say, or a good wine list.

Freddy said...

Was that Wensleydale the cheese? Or Wensleydale the topographical feature?
I know both involve being green, but I'm thinking that if you went as the cheese you'd have to have been green and mostly round, whereas Wensleydale the dale would be green with lots of interesting bumps and hollows.......
Is it wrong for me to be turned on by thoughts of you in a fancy dress costume that even if you were being truthful in the meme would still probably not be the way you were dressed?

Luka said...

Freddy - it is never wrong to be aroused by dairy products, only to act upon those desires whilst still in the supermarket. That's what the magistrate said, anyway.